A
female
age
30-35,
*he1st1
writes:PLEASE HELP!! well i dated this guy in the 7th grade, we dated a little under a year.. we just started talking again, and he knows i have not been in a relationship in over a year, because my daughters dad left and i havent been ready.. well he asked me out.. and being an idiot i said yes, bc i thought thats what i wanted. now he is very needy, he wants me to call him all the time, and i have tried to explain to him that i have an almost 4 month old baby, and i dont have time to always talk to someone on the phone.. i dont know exactly what to say to him, bc i dont like breaking up with people, and he is one that will be really hard, bc he has always been in love with me. not even two hours after i said yes, he said that he has to move out and wanted to move in with me, and im not about to let someone move in with me when i hardly know the person they have become. i just dont feel right being in a relationship right now, i have too much going on, and i dont really know what it is.. it just makes me uncomfortable.. so can you please give me some advice on how to let him down easy.. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2009): I know life gets tough and even good relationships can be stressful. But don't turn him down yet. If he loves you as much as he says he does he will understand and want to take things as slow as you want them to go. He probably is willing to do anything he can to make you happy. Explain your situation and tell him what he can do to make it easier. Just feeling bad won't always give you the answer. And it's possible that you shouldn't shut this guy out just yet if he cares this much. Congratulations on your new baby!
A
female
reader, tumelo  +, writes (9 January 2009):
i went through the same as you, my baby daddy and i broke when i was only 6 weeks pregnant, that was in 2006, i felt that i needed to concentrate on my son, reason being when you are a mother things stops being about you but your baby.
i took time off relationships then,and now recently 30 dec 2008 i got back together with my ex whom i love dearly, i think the time i had to myself helped me heal,cause i constantly thot abt my baby daddy everyday, but now i can see the future is bright.
i trully understand what you going through but i think being alone at such a time is very good idea so that if it happens love this guy it doesnt turn out to be just another rebound relationship, just tell him how you feel,cause we all know that relationships need a lot of time and compromises and now that time is being preoccupied by the little angel you have now.
surely if this guys loves that he would understand.
goodluck, and keep me posted
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A
male
reader, Aech135 +, writes (9 January 2009):
 Explain to him that right now the most important thing in your life is your baby and that you don't have the time or energy to carry on a relationship like the one her wants. I think it's good that you realize that you don't have time and are being fair both to yourself and him by not trying to carry on a relationship that you just don't want right now. Just try to be kind about it and explain your reason clearly. Hopefully he'll understand and realize that it's for the best.
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