A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just discovered my husband is cheaing on me. I dont know what to do. I am 5 and a half months pregnant with twins.... Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010): Never get mad, get even, and LOVE IT. Never let him know though, this way you can leave him if you want, AND get child support, since HE was the cheater :) He'll never stop doing it, so you shouldn't either! Life will be heavy enough with twins, so enjoy it in every way, and don't regret a thing. Never let anyone bring you down, and always win the game!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010): Wouldn't you rather raise your babies alone than be with a man who cheats? Men like that just cause hurt; and as your kids grow up if he keeps cheating, which he likely will, they will suffer. My advice is give them a solid and stable home on your own. All the best.
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A
female
reader, miscellaneous  +, writes (7 February 2010):
Well honestly monogamy is not natural but I understand wanting to be the most special one..which you probably are however it is normal for people to want variety especially during a pregnancy. My best friend's husband came on to me when she was pregnant, I never told her because he felt remorse and was sexually frustrated. He came on to someone else I know as well but after my friend had the baby it never happened again. You need to understand that while your body and emotions are going through all these changes because that baby is in your body; you become a mother as soon as that test is positive. The father doesn't get that, he becomes a father when he holds that baby in his arms. For some reason I don't know but accept men need some sexual comfort during this pregnancy period, so I think you need to give him a chance to rectify the matter..and also find out if you both believe in sexual exclusivity because its normal to love someone entirely but want to have sex with someone else. Personally I tried monogamy for 3 years, I couldn't do it for a lifetime, no one should be expected to. The whole your pregnant thing and your husband cheated on you sucks but there are many shades of black.
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A
female
reader, jayronae  +, writes (7 February 2010):
 hmm...I'm very sorry :(Do you know how long he has been cheating? And is there more than sex going on between your husband and this woman? Because if there is an emotional bond, it will be very difficult to continue your relationship. You are his wife, you shouldn't have to share his heart with another woman. But since you are pregnant, that really complicates things...Do you think you can raise your children as a single mom? If you did get a divorce, would he want to be an active part of your children's lives? Perhaps his family would help you tooPerhaps you should take a couple days to think things over, go to a friend's place. Writing a list of pros and cons could possibly help get racing thoughts organizedI'm sorry I cannot give better advice, but be try to chose what will make you and your children happy
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A
male
reader, ReturningtheFavor +, writes (7 February 2010):
First off I am very sorry that you have to got through something as terrible as this, especially being pregnant. There are a few things you have to ask yourself to determine whether or not you would like to save this relationship. First question is, how has the relationship been? Has he been very distant (not just moderately but really extrememly distant, irritable, very uncaring, etc). Next how long has this been going on and is it with the same woman? This can really influence your decision. Obviously he is a poor excuse for a man at this point because no matter what no man should ever cheat on his spouse regardless of the situation. THe biggest piece of advice i can give is to do what makes you happy. If you can be happy with him and get past this (and he will be faithful) then i would say try to say the relationship especially because you are having a child together. (by the way congratulations on the wonderful gift of twins) Being a man myself I understand the male need to see if the grass is greener on the other side ( i have never done it but the temptation is in all of us). Just because he has done this doesnt mean that he doesnt love you it just means that he was over come with weakness, maybe while intoxicated. So dont think that because he did this he doesnt love you. Men are make mistakes and we are very sexual creatures, so its an "easy" mistake to make, I am not defending it by any means cuz its wrong and there is not an acceptable excuse. A couple other points to consider are whether or not he can be a good father to these babies at home. Is he a good man? Does he treat you right? Excluding this incident and normal relationship troubles? If he has been a good husband, doesnt treat you right, then consider finding a man who will whole heartedly respect you as his wife. Im a victim of spousal cheating and we have been working through it, so i know that it is possible. (we dont have children) I will check back for your response and reply with anything else you need. REMEMBER THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN ALL OF THIS IS WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY AND WHAT YOU BELIEVE IS BEST FOR YOUR WONDERFUL FUTURE CHILDREN!! Good luck! I know its hard but im sure you are strong enough to do this. Use your friends! Lean on them to comfort you when you are getting down!! If the are not availalbe write me on here and i will do my best to keep up!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2010): More info please
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