A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy online. I'm in my early twenties and he's in his mid thirties. We talked on the phone a lot. He was very outgoing! Really nice gentleman. We had a lot of the same interest and he seemed lik a really cool person. We even talked about mayb a relationship if things went well and about meeting each others family..So after about 2 weeks of phone conversation we finally went on a date. As soon as I seen him i greeted him with a kiss and a hug! ... Then as we began to walk into the mall, I grabbed his hand and he pulled his hand away and I ask," so you don't want to hold my hand" and he says, " nah I just want to get to know you a little better." I js said ok. But In my head I was thinking like wow was that a diss? He doesn't like me?... It was weird because I did show him accurate pictures... So as we watch the movie he's being kinda quiet not really saying much. acting kinda distant as far as conversation... I understand u can't say much in a movie but I felt lik he was way more outgoing over the phone... So as we leave the movies and were walking out I was asking him if he was ok? Was something on his mind? what's wrong? And he's lik nothing everything fine. I'm ok... So I'm lik ok maybe it's me.. Mayb he isn't acting different. Maybe he's just shy?!? So as we get closer to our cars he gives me a kiss and all of a sudden were making out! Lik full blown kissing! I was shocked that he made the move.. Then he invited me back to his place.. But I told him no. He can't get the goodies on the first night... Then i thought to myself, about 2 hours ago he said he wanted to take things slow, now he wants me to stay the night..... And that was the end of our date. So the next day I text him and it's lik small talk.. I feel lik our conversation isn't the same... As days go by I feel lik our conversations aren't the same but idk if it's me and my own insecurity.. It's only Been a few days since our date but I'm wondering if he js wasn't that into me. But why would he invite me bak to his place? And wouldn't he js tell me if he didn't think we would have anything in the future? Or If he js wanted to remain friends.Idk if it's all in my head or if he's js taking things slow.. But in the mean Time It's been about 3 weeks since our movie date and were still texting. Just small talk like how are u? What are you doing? Did u watch the basketball game? Litle stuff but not like before.. So one day he called me and we talked for about 3 hours and he invited me to dinner at his place. Our conversation was how it was wen we first began talking that's y I agreed to dinner at his place because I liked him again and for those little 3 hours I felt like he liked me again ?????!!!! So the day when I'm going to his place for dinner the plan was for me to bring the food or cook because I promised him I would back when we first began talking, well he tells me hes really tired and wants to either call me after he takes a nap or just reschedule for a later date. And I say ok.at this point I'm not disappointed or upset because I'm convinced he's just not into me although we had great conversation a few nights before.... So after he basically bails on me, he calls back about 15 mins later telling me just to come today because he might oversleep and not wake up until tomorrow. So I ask him if he's for sure and he says he totally ok with continuing with our original plans. So I pick up dinner for us and a movie and go to his place. He was nice. I mean the conversation was better than it was when I first met him the night at the movies. I was a lil more comfortable with him.. So we began to watch the movie he tells me he's been having an illness that keeps him up at night that's y he was really tired and working 14 hour days.. So as I'm at his house I still feel lik "friends" there were no cuddling. Kissing. Nothing. So again I'm confused. He's Ben kinda opening up to me sharing personal experiences but yet idk where this is going... He ends up dozing off while the movies on and I wake him to tell him that I'm going to leave and I'll see him later. He walks me to the door and that's the last I heard from him! WTF! I'm just curious! Can anyone explain to me what this man wants. After the movies I thought he wanted sex but wen I'm at his house he didn't try coming on to me..(not that I wanted him to) it just would have let me no sumthin.. Any advice. Please help... Mayb theres something I'm js not seeing... Should I just ask him
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female
reader, nicolelee76 +, writes (18 May 2011):
I agree, take is slowly. Get to know the guy and see if you're compatible before falling hook, line and sinker! He said he wanted to take is slow and then asked you to stay the night? This isn't as confusing as it seems. He wants to do the right thing and take it slow but he was probably overcome with physical desire at that point. Some people aren't really comfortoable opening up and being truly intimate with someone until they have spent a significant amount of time with them. Give him a bit more time. If he doesn't come around in a month or two, say goodbye.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 May 2011):
 I think you are moving things way to fast here girlie. You will end up scaring him off if you start asking him all these questions. It is only early days here so just take your time with him and get to know each other. Thats the whole point of the first few dates just to take things slow and see how you get on with each other. So dont rush to far ahead and think things over to much. You will only drive yourself crazy. Just keep going to see how it goes time will soon tell if you are both suited to each other or not.
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