A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:please help me what do i do!!.last night i went to a party and drank more then i should (im under age)..i hooked up with this guy that is about 8years older then me and ive known him all my life. Today i woke up with my sister calling and saying what was wrong with me,she had found out i hooked up with him and she says he is my cousin. I later then talk to my mother and she says this is the biggest stab in the heart for her and she is now losing sleep because of me. she has raised her daughters with respect and niceness,i am her youngest daughter and now she fears people will call me a slut. she doesnt know for sure that i have hooked up with him,because i denied it. What should i do,should i come out and tell her i hooked up with him or is it in the best interest to keep it a big secret and deny everything. My other cousin saw me and had told my sisters which is how everything went out of control,should i keep this between myself and make everyone seem like they were seeing things or should i just speak and tell the truth?? please help me
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2011): Aren't you an adult (at least 18)? It's no one's business what you do sexually. You don't have to tell your mother every time you have sex. You don't have to explain anything to anyone.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2011): I wouldn't let it get to you.We all do crazy shit when we're young. And shagging a bloke a party is pretty low on the scale of crazy shit.Did either of you know your relation to each other? Are you planning having a relationship from here on in? No? Then stop worrying about what others think.And remember if you lived in pretty much every other country on the planet, you'd not even have broken any laws. None of my cousins are even remotely attractive so it's never come up with me... but if it did, no one could say s**t about it.Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, Linton +, writes (11 October 2011):
You didn't mention whether it was a first cousin. I cannnot tell you what to do, but on the general topic of marrying cousins and having children (and I assume that is the real issue here) I can point you to the best published facts. You could get online and go to sciencemag.org and spend a few bucks to get a copy of the article [An Association Between Kinship And Fertility of Human Couples. Agnar Helgason, Snaebjoern Palsson, Daniel F. Guobjartsson, Pordur Kristjansson and Karl Stefanson, SCIENCE vol 329 8 February 2008 page 813]. They looked at when happens when cousins are related and it turns out that there is a connection between number of children and degree of kinship. As with anything else there is an optimal range.
There is also a lot of superstition out there. I would think getting facts is a better way to go.
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