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I haven't dated in awhile and am not sure if I'm picking up the right signals

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Question - (11 October 2021) 4 Answers - (Newest, 15 October 2021)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *eeley345 writes:

I've been happily single for a long while by choice but I recently met someone and well...as I've been out of the dating game for a while, I need to know if this guy actually likes me?

I first met him a few months ago. He's my landlord's contractor and he came round to do some repair work at my flat/apartment. When he arrived, he was clearly in a terrible mood and basically ignored me. I wasn't attracted to him then but wanted to talk to him to tell him what repair work I had asked my landlord for. He just ignored me and got on with his work so I left him to it.

Recently my landlord told me he had asked this same contractor to do some other repair work at my flat/apartment. When he came back to do a quick survey of what work needed to be done, he was polite. When he came by a few days later to carry out the work, we had a disagreement. I'm in the UK and although wearing facemasks is now legally voluntary only, you can ask that contractors etc wear masks in your home. They of course are allowed to refuse to now.

I had Coronavirus months ago so I'm super terrified to get it again as I was so ill with it before. This contractor wasn't happy with my request to wear a mask because he said him and his team needed to be able to hear each other clearly for safety reasons. I didn't push the matter as legally they can now refuse to wear a mask. He was annoyed that I had even dared to ask him to.

As I had the day off work, I told him I was going next door to my neighbour's house where he could come find me when he was done. My neighbour shares the same landlord as me. He did come over over a few hours later and was much calmer. He apologised because he couldn't complete the job that day because he needed another contractor's expertise with something.

My neighbour invited him and 3 of his team in. And whilst they were talking to my neighbour, this contractor was in the kitchen talking to me. We weren't exactly alone because the kitchen and living room are in one room. We were talking about the work he was doing in my flat and that was it. It was whilst I was talking to him that I noticed how attractive he is. I'd never noticed him in that way before.

He was making alot of eye contact, smiling shyly and was much gentler towards me than before. He even seemed annoyed when one of his team interrupted our conversation. Whilst he was talking to this person, I noticed he was scanning my whole body with his eyes. His whole demeanour around me was very relaxed, a little bit shy but he seemed happy to come into my personal space e.g leaning forward when talking to me and smiling often.

After him and his team left,my neighbour commented about the sexual tension between us. A few days later she says she bumped into him again and he apparently asked how I was. I have his number and vice versa but for professional reasons.

My neighbour said he might be worried about making any move on me because he could lose this contract. Our landlord may think he's harassing female tenants or as he doesn't know me well, I might even complain that he behaved inappropriately.

So I'm guessing I have to give him the green light to ask me out to make him feel more comfortable. My landlord isn't nasty at all so probably won't take his contract away.

According to my neighbour she says this contractor has done work in her flat/apartment many times and he's my age and has never mentioned a wife or kids. Just something about his age. So does he like me?

View related questions: move on, neighbour, shy

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A female reader, Keeley345 United Kingdom +, writes (15 October 2021):

Keeley345 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Female Reader, you read my mind. He was very grumpy on the previous occasions I met him and then suddenly he seemed to realise I was an attractive female.

Yes! He's probably got sex on his mind and I'm guessing lockdown has hampered his opportunities to get laid. I'm cautious due to previous experience. I'm not looking for a long term relationship so I'm mindful this could be a potential fling.

But the way he got so agitated about masks was bizzare. But your response is on point. Thanks

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2021):

Yes, he seems to fancy you. He is irritable and moody, but quite adept at turning on the charm when he sees a woman whom he finds attractive.

I would be asking myself how long will he be charming for, before his real temperament shows itself again. Personally, I would steer well clear of a man who can be rude and disrespectful, but alluring when he wants something. Sex, probably.

That wasn't the question, I know, but I've been round the block a few times. I hear warning bells.

Annoyed you asked him to wear a mask, annoyed that someone interrupted his flirting. You only found him attractive when he started his little onslaught of the eye contact and the obvious scanning of your body to let you know what he's got on his mind. You were probably more flattered that he was harsh to begin with, but your assets have managed to 'soften' him.

Beware, that's all. He knows what he's doing and may have done it a thousand times.

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A female reader, Keeley345 United Kingdom +, writes (12 October 2021):

Keeley345 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I am going to see how it plays out. I don't know him and vice versa so need to find out more about him. I'll be friendlier next time and try to engage in friendly conversation.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (12 October 2021):

kenny agony auntIts hard to say if he likes you or not from what you say in your post. He could just have been being friendly and polite as he probably is to everyone.

When he came in he had three of his team there also, so he could of been flirting to try to impress his other co-workers.

I think that you have to tread very carefully here, i would not just automatically give him the green light. I would just get to know him and find out more about him over the natural course of time.

Things could become awkward if you asked him out to soon and then you find out he has a girlfriend, or is married. Do you homework and don't rush things. Next time he is doing some work there maybe put the kettle on and just make small talk. Its suprising how much information can be achieved through small talk.

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