A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hey All,Well my boyfriend - well exboyfriend sorta, said that he loved me (uh-uh) but wanted to see other people. which i have to say knock my confidences alot, i feel like i've gone striaght back to square one. That was over a month again now, so when this guy came to chat me up (Which was a shock as he was really.....really.... buff), it would of been a self esteem boost if i didn't have the confidence i had when i was 13 (I'm 17 s it's a big step back, it's taken me 4 long years to gain the confidence i had). It's was so terrible it i couldn't flirt to save my life, i kept stummering and i said the most stupidest things. What can i do to get back to the way i was?Please get back to me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2006): First of all, accept this. Give yourself time to recover and understand how important it is to put this pain behind you and move forward. You are allowing his rejection of you to literally shatter your confidence and self-worth. That's the basis, the very essence of WHO you are. Never allow anyone to have that type of power over you. You're wasting your precious time, dwelling on all the negatives of what happened and you are blaming yourself. Stop doing that. Focus on what happiness you can attain, but you won't get there if you don't get through this healing process. Never give away your confidence, your worthiness, to some ungrateful guy who hurt you. He's not worth it, hun. Be strong and don't permit this.
So...you have a choice, dear. You can learn to get beyond this, learn trust yourself-learn to love yourself, once again. Whenever you get involved in a relationship, we all know there's a risk. Don't let a bad experience keep you from living your life to the fullest. You can go through life suspicious, bitter, your confidence shattered, or you can go through it... loving and laughing. To get your confidence back will take work and a positive change of attitude. Gift yourself with that. Do the work, recover, learn to love yourself, don't depend on others to give you self-worth by loving you....do that for yourself! Before you get into any more relationships, learn to heal that insecure little girl inside you who believes she is not lovable. You deserve love but in order to get...learn to love yourself. If you do, this is what others will take note about you and that is very appealing to potential love interests. Good luck, dear. Let us know how you do. Take Care.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2006): Well these days i am the same. Before i went out with my ex i wasn't the most confident, yet i was better than i am now. Nowdays i have just lost what little drive i had. Not really much of an answer or help, but just to say you are not alone on this.
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