A
female
age
41-50,
*ellykaw
writes:Hi so i met this guy online, cute, funny lots in common, he asked me out Friday but also wanted to meet me today then again friday. I'm busy so cant. But I keep seeing him online on this date site we met on and Yesterday he said he got spam (I didn't believe him but brushed it off) I said I understand if he was keeping his options open but he said he's not, and really likes me, so why does he keep going online? It's obvious he's talking to other women so why lie! He even said he'd delete the account til we met. Now I'm struggling to trust him. Should I just go with my gut and say see ya later or give him the benefit of the doubt? I have trust issues so that's why I'm asking as I'm wondering if I'm being silly or if I'm right to feel how I do. Thanks in advance! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (17 May 2016):
 Just because he asked you out and you two have been talking doesn't mean he can't check out the dating site.
You BOTH have no idea if the two of you are a match in person. One thing is on "paper" you can seem like great match, another is in person. So to expect that he will delete his profile because you are going on 1 date is simply not realistic.
And honestly, in order for YOU to see him online on the dating site, YOU are logged in too, correct? So maybe HE is presuming YOU are still looking too.
It's not OBVIOUS that he is talking to other women. He could as a matter of fact be turning someone else DOWN who have written to him.
I think at your age you should know that there is no such thing as an instant relationship. He doesn't OWE you squat. YOU don't OWE him squat either.
Go on the date and STOP accusing him of things that you *think* he is doing. STOP jumping to conclusions.
From reading your post you come of WAY to insecure and controlling and THAT... will not get you a partner.
RELAX. Go on the date. TAKE your time in getting to know a guy.
Yes, he said he would delete his account, but really.. why should he? He shouldn't lie, I agree, but you are WAY overreacting. You haven't even MET the guy!
A
female
reader, sandy san  +, writes (17 May 2016):
 hey kelly,in my opinion never trust a person blindly whom u never met.u just insist on meeting and put a post about it .if you have real feelings for him tell him that u do.good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2016): He asked you out. You're busy. He's assuming you are not interested so he is keeping his options open. Just like how you don't trust him he's not sure of you either. Don't forget that women can be flaky as well. I'm not saying that you are, but in general. It was also wrong of him to lie (assuming he was), but it was unfair of you to ask that question to begin with. To be honest its neither of your business what the other is doing on the site unless you guys have become official with each other. That's when you guys should be taking your accounts down.
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