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female
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anonymous
writes: I am a single mother of a 5 year old girl. I was very briefly with her father and he is now married with a child of his own. I am a recovering alcoholic (sober 7 years). Her father is also an admitted alcoholic and addict. He is drinking again. His wife recently was in detox for heroin. The court says she can see them every other week. I do not feel like she is safe over their house. But Massachusetts law says "until something happens" I have to send her. Does any one know of a way around this?worried mother
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2006): I also want to add that it is very hard to have trust or faith in the justice system and especially in your case.You should be thankful that you were awarded custody; I am assuming.It could be that the courts did in fact searched over information about you and your Ex's histories before rendering a judgement. The courts may not have taken into account; your Ex's new girlfriend.They are placing faith in your Ex that he will do what is right for his daughter and if something does indeed happen, although tough; he would then only have visitation rights under supervision.Look into seeking some counsel or advice from a legal represntative.Is some of your concern partially motivated by your anger and resentment towards your Ex and that you want a way to hit him hard? It's human to think so but re-evaluate those feelings and don't think too much on such feelings-they will only feed your anger and distrust and further make you worry and anger.Best of luck Girlfriend. *hugs*
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2006): Congratulations on being sober-that is absolutely amazing to hear and made my day. My natural Mother is an alcoholic who has a very hard time staying sober.
Have you discussed your concern with a lawyer? Are there documents that can further prove he is a harm and danger to his child? What does child welfare say and have they been involved with you and your Ex before?
Is there a way you can obtain public court files on his current spouse?
I haven't the foggiest on this one and I don't know what your chances are in putting forward another application for judgement?
I say talk to a lawyer and get involved in a local supportive group for women such as yourself; single mothers of addictions.
There should be some online justice libraries that you can look through with help of friends to find a "loophole" in your state's laws on child protection/services.
Have faith, keep surviving and fighting, and love your daughter and do your utmost for her personal safety.
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (17 July 2006):
 I am not that familiar with social services legislation in the USA but in the UK child protection law is centred around children being 'at risk of significant harm' as much as having experienced harm. I rather suspect that a similar arrangement is in force in Child Protection Services where you are but you can check with your local social services and welfare offices for clarification - your problem is all too common. One obvious way around this problem as a 'compromise' maybe to allow access at family centres - they are available in most communities as neutral and supervised places where parents can meet their children. You should be prepared to go back to family court to re-negotiate access arrangements as many judges will perceive 'something happening' as the addiction issues of your ex and his new partner. You must take care however to put your case across without overly stressing her problem over his - the reason being is that the courts and social services may construe this as you wanting to withhold access for personal, spiteful reasons (jealousy etc) - I am not saying this is the case as I am sure you have your child's interests at heart but it is something for you to consider if you decide to take action as their legal representatives may wish to suggest that.
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