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I have my first session with a counsellor coming up, any advice on how to go about it?

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Question - (21 April 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 21 April 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, *p0307 writes:

Hi

Ive posted before about a problem ive had about visiting prostitutes and feeling lonely. ive now decided this is a sexual addiction I have and want to see a counselor. Im going for the first session on Saturday with a relate counselor and wanted advise on how to go about it.

I want to be honest about me visiting the prostitutes but am worried they will be harsh about it .. i'll also tell them im a lonely person dont have many friedns etc but do have hobbies i enjoy like the gym. I also dont drink, club, party go out in the evenings which ok with me as I like the relaxing nature of it and need the rest after gym.. any ideas how i should talk to them about it and how they might react?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010):

I've been through counseling many times.

Let me tell you, there is no point in not being honest. You're paying them by the hour to talk about shit you can't be honest with your friends & family about, so use it. Go in there and dump out your whole story as quickly & completely as you can. It will probably take you several sessions just to completely explain what's happening so get on with it.

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A female reader, veronika Australia +, writes (21 April 2010):

veronika agony auntIf they are a good therapist they will not be harsh about it.

Counselors / therapists / psychologists etc. are supposed to remain professional and objective when assessing and consulting with a patient. Good ones are also sympathetic and understanding.

Just be honest. That is the best advice I think anyone could give you. And if you're not honest, they'll probably eventually get the truth out of you (they often have a way of doing that!).

The first psychologist session I had I was nervous about her judging me, but she never was - and I told her some pretty weird and strange things about me that I never thought I would tell anyone, not even a close friend.

If you find your counselor is too 'harsh' or judgmental, don't be afraid to consult another one and ditch the current one. You need to find a counselor who is the right fit for you and who you get along with.

But the key is to be honest and transparent, that's the only way they can HELP you.

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A female reader, toniaa United Kingdom +, writes (21 April 2010):

toniaa agony aunthi there

hope i will help. when i was younger something happened and i had to go speak to somebody about it at the start i was so nervous thinking what will they think or say to me but they are the kindest people you could ever speak to they are there to understand how you are feelig and what you are going through. they leave it up to you to tell them exactly what it is and they will never push you into telling them all about it in one meeting. my boyfriends friend has went with hookers alot may i say, and he was lonely didnt have a girlfriend etc: but now he has got over that and now goes out during the week and weekends you dont have to go drink just go to the cinema or something like that. you will be fine trust me. let me no if ive helped

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