A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So Ive only had sex about 7 times but Ive been with 3 men. But everytime I have sex it doesnt feel good for me at all. Its more uncomfortable than anything. But I dont get that feel good sensation that people keep telling me about. I dont think that thats normal at all. Should I get it checked out at the doctor or something? I mean this is gonna be a problem for me if I ever get a real boyfriend. I have no problem with lubrication. Thats fine but I just cant make the actual act feel good. Whether Im doing the work or receiving, its the same. Ive never had oral stimulation but that shouldnt matter, should it? Is something wrong with me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Petra at home  +, writes (4 February 2010):
Thank you for your compliment. A major piece of advice - don't drink as a prelude to sex, or as a prelude to anything important really. Second, don't dwell on past regrets. We all have them, for all types of things, and if you let it they can weigh you down. As I said before, sex is best either with someone with whom there is mutual deep feelings, or it is just a friend. There's nothing wrong in having someone that is just a no commitment lover or sex partner. But YOU need to be in control: you should be attracted to the other person, want to engage in whatever play takes place, be able to turn away if you want without feeling compelled to go on.
Start havingg sex with someone you really love, yourself, and take it slowly from there. Then when the right situation arises with a guy, you'll be ready.
A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (2 February 2010):
 You are right in saying this, "But I know so many girls who engage in meaningless sex and really enjoys it. I just assumed that something was wrong with me'
You need to learn erotic love making. I am publishing series of articles on ' An introduction to Tantra', which is science and art of erotic pleasure. Please keep in touch with my articles.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes the times I have had sex are really spaced apart. The first time I had sex was June of 2008. Then again in July. Then again in August. All with the same man. Then I didnt have sex til Feb. I got drunk and accidentally slept with this guy that I had encountered a couple of times. Then I had sex with this same guy in April then July. That makes 6 times. Then I slept with this guy that I worked with one night. I got drunk again but I really didnt think that it counted but my friends said it did. Anyway from what I remember, that wasnt good either. But like you all said, its probably because I wasnt really into these guys. But I know so many girls who engage in meaningless sex and really enjoys it. I just assumed that something was wrong with me. To Petra at home, I always love ur comments, yes ive masturbated but I cant seem to relax enough for penetration. Ive used porn and Ive tried thinking of personal fantasies but my imagination sucks. And I just remembered when I have sex, my stomach begins to hurt. Its like a cramp that sits there. I dont know. Im celibate now. I havent had sex in about 6 months but I really want my next time to be enjoyable. What can I do to ensure that? And yes the next time will be with someone that I really like but I dont want to encounter this problem again.
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A
female
reader, curious0hot +, writes (31 January 2010):
 What do you think about when you're having sex? You should try recalling your personal fantasies. Also, it could be that the men don't perform well or don't have the sort of "equipment" you like.
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A
female
reader, Petra at home +, writes (31 January 2010):
Important question - Have you previously been able to enjoy playing with yourself? Did you orgasm? If not, explore your body and get into the right groove. Make all those connections that run from your genitals and breasts to the right part of your brain. Stimulate your clit, finger your vagina, use a dildo starting small and getting up to average size.As for the partner, it seems to work best with either someone you love and loves you back (a tall order), or if it is just sex. Let us know how it goes.
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A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (31 January 2010):
 I also agree it has a lot to do with who you are doing it with. If your really attracted to a guy, it is gunna be great before you even really get to do anything.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2010): I think it has more to do with the number of times you've had sex than the number of partners (unless some partners don't know much about how to please you and aren't willing to learn). I didn't start to enjoy it at all until I'd been having sex about twice a week for a year. For a while it hurt, then I felt nothing, then I got into it more. I think it also has to do with how comfortable you feel with your partner and how attracted to him you are.
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