A
female
age
18-21,
princesspearl19
writes:I fell for my brother. My brother and I have been close since I was born. When I was 6, I was taken away from my mom and brothers, through a custody trial. Last summer I was able to reconnect with my brother, Tim. We now live together. We were ok the first month together, then one night we fell asleep in the same bed watching movies. At the time, we were living at our grandma's. Well, we did more then sleep together and I fell in love with him. We recently moved into our own apartment and had not done it in a while--until my birthday. All our family is questioning us, especially our mom. I've lied to all of them. What should I do? I still want him even more
View related questions:
fell in love, moved in Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2007): Who initiated the sex between you and your brother, you or him? Also, do you enjoy having sex with your brother, and do you like being in love with him? You are still young, and this may have something to do with it. If this situation is bothering you, you probably need to see a therapist so that you can stop having sex with him, if that is what you really want. But ask yourself if that is what you really want.
Sex between brothers and sisters happens more often that people think, especially first-time sex, or when brothers and sisters are really close. There is another site at www.incestboard.com where you can join and ask people who have had incestous relationships for advice. Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2007): This is a phenomenon caled genetic sexual attraction: when we grow up with someone, we are subliminally programmed not to be sexually attracted to them, as a guard against inbreeding, and the deformities that can bring. Which explains why unrelated children who spend their whole childhoods together tend to care about each other "as brothers/sisters", and find the idea of getting it on together weird (hence the saying "familiarity breeds contempt"). So if you separate actual full or half-siblings early in their lives, this does not happen, and if they are reunited as adults, sometimes their love for each other can spill over.Personally, I don't think isolated consensual incestuous relationships really do anyone any harm, and certainly don't warrant prison sentences (it's not as though brother-sister lovers are a danger to the general public, is it), but then I am very liberal. As for the question of children, there is no guarantee that a child of incest will automatically be deformed, just that any negative recessive genes will be duplicated, giving a higher chance of hereditary diseases IF they are already present in the family. If they aren't, then the child should be healthy. But then, the letter above never mentioned children anyway.Of course, the effect on family stability is a different matter entirely... My advice would be to distance yourself from the brother if you can, and get counselling to help move on, so maybe you can one day have a normal sibling relationship. I don't think you're a bad person, just very unfortunate. Shame on your Dad for tearing the family apart in the first place!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2007): ive just read your articals - i was adopted and was recently reunited with my brother after 43 years and the same thing has happened to us we love each other and are inseprable - so i carnt judge anyone if something feels right how can it be wrong ?
...............................
A
female
reader, DIE-romantic.  +, writes (2 July 2007):
 Woah, okay. Well, your brother being blood related, you must see somewhere along the lines its wrong and you cant do it. If you do plan to have children, because of you two being blood related, your genes will make your children deformed like abbytomko said thats if you did plan that far. To have a relationship with your brother is also against the law. And if you want to marry it wont be allowed. You must forget these feelings and get as far away from the apartment as possible. Im sorry hun, but if your family were to find out it would possibly tear the family apart. Take care, and i hope it all works out okay. xxxx
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007): I have been on the male end of your dillema.Trust me, it won't turn out okay.You really do love him, I know, but if you really think about it, about being with him, having kids with him, you'll begin to feel like something is wrong.Mostly, it wouldn't be fair to your kids.I swear to you, you will never be able to explain to the other parents why you child is saying how her mommy is also her aunt and how her daddy is also her uncle. Your child will be seen as a freak and shunned from society. Find someone else. Leaving him may hurt you more than anything you've ever known, but it would be the right choice.
...............................
A
female
reader, mh26hm  +, writes (25 June 2007):
 oh my!!!!, this has go to stop! he is your brother and you and him are blood related. well, from your situation you have been lieing to your family and mom, but it's time to tell the truth. don't you think?? does your brother feel the same way about you, the way you feel about him, should you tell your brother on how you feel about him? well, again you should..... good luck on your actions!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2007): Forget the judgements for a moment, and stop worrying. There's a known psychological effect that occurs to people who are seperated from their families and can lead to sexual feelings when siblings are reunited. So don't get down on yourself, don't judge yourself. What you do have to realise is that you are experiencing this effect. I'm not a psychologist so I don't know if there are methods you can use to reduce these feelings, but you should understand that following them is probably going to lead to problems, as it already is.Perhaps you could ask your doctor to make an appointment with a councillor or therapist? Everything will be confidential, and a professional may be able to help you get to a position where your relationship is easier for you. Most people will just see it as plain wrong, so try to see a professional. It'll take courage, but it's probably your best option. If you don't believe me about the effect, then search for Stuebing and Germany for a recent news story where I heard about this effect. Good luck
...............................
A
male
reader, willem  +, writes (23 June 2007):
 this is 1 of those situations where must listen 2 the right angel on ur shoulder - think about it ,if ur the child of ur uncle and its ur dad ,how would u have looked @ ur mom in a later stage in ur life .how would ur moms family have seen her .. this is wrong and 2 garry on will b a sin . sit and talk about this ,see what harm u can stop if u both stop this now and move on .living 2gether is also a no no, cause u know how the human mind works ....................... so see this a nauhty thing u did (or a secret )and move on. heres a example. (if u steel something 2day and dont get cought it fun ,if u carry on u become a thief ,and if u get cought u become a criminal) what ur doing isnt so bad but stop before u end up in a situation where u dont have any control ...........................................................................best of luck !!!
...............................
A
female
reader, AbbyTomko +, writes (23 June 2007):
 if he is your blood brother 100% then it is wrong your kids would come out deformed in some way sorry hunni xx
...............................
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (23 June 2007):
 Ok i realise that you missed that time with your brother while you were a child but hey you are an adult now and you should realise that having sexual relations with your brother is so totally wrong, i'm not surprised your mom has started questioning you.
This should really not carry on i think maybe it would be a good idea to move out of the apartment and see if you can move in with your mom and try and forget about this whole idea because i'm not being funny but you and your family have clearly gone through enough as it is imagine what this would do to you all if they found out.
Take care.xx.
...............................
|
