A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have fallen in love with a taken man. He is definitely flirting back with me, and I am sure he is attracted to me on some level. He kissed me one night when we were both drunk at a pub. I would really like for something to happen between us, but I'm not sure if I am just reading the signals worng. What happens now? Do I confront him and ask him outright if he feels something for me and risk ruining our easy going friendship?Opinions and advice welcome!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): Hi there - I know EXACTLY how you feel. The same thing is happening to me at work with a man that has a fiancee. I can feel the chemistry between us and we had a similar encounter at a work party. Unfortunately, it is out of your hands whether or not he will act on his feelings. Try your best to let it go and move on with someone who is open to be with you and only you. It's much less painful this way. If you must, tell him how you feel and see what happens? What have you go to lose?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2007): There is no answer to the question whether action comes first or thought in many situations, though it is pretty clear that emotion comes ahead of both. But that is reflexive emotion and we fool ourselves when we say, even a little later, that we can't help it. Drill down deeper and you have to face the brutal fact of self-centeredness if you choose to go ahead with this man (irrespective of what kind he is). Men and women think differently on this issue and that is not likely to change soon though there are different men and different women. You will feel bad for a while but recognise that it is self pity, nothing more. If you are a happy sort you will be fine, and happy sorts dont drown in this kind of quandary. So go well my friend.Alpha
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): So to everyone that is cutting you down for feeling this way, I dont understand why. If you have fallen for someone you can't help the way you feel. Yes you can help what you do about it, but not the way you feel. I am in almost the same situation, however the guy that this is with is a long time friend of mine. His relationship has not been great for a long time now, and the only reason they did not brea it off is because there is a child involved. I came out and told him the way I felt regardless, I would rather let him no than go on wondering what he would say. He told me that he did feel the same way, and i told him that I did not want to be any reason that him and his girlfriend broke things off. Just because you tell him how you feel does not mean that you have to jump in bed with the guy if he feels the same way. All in all me and him are now engaged and his ex has also found someone with whom she is more happy with. All im saying is if you really really do have feelings for this guy, do you want to go on wondering?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2007): Easy going friendship, what a nice and carefully placed word to downplay infidelity and the hopes you have to help this taken man cheat so that you can get what you want.
I can see how a man would be attracted to this selflessness you possess. You are a woman to be envied above all other women.
I wish I had a taken man to moon over and who would cheat and break the hearts of many; he sounds like such a catch.
Please wake up from this dream world where there are no consequences and you get to be likened to one of those criminals who can murder, rape, steal and hope to not get caught.
It just isn't worth it on so many levels.
Find a good man who can be honest, loving, and respectful. This is not your fellow you lust after.
Sheesh...at least have some sense of pride and respect to lust over a single male.
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A
male
reader, eddie  + ♥, writes (18 February 2007):
 Well, you should start by looking in the mirror and giving your head a shake. Let me ask you a question. There's a little old blind lady walking down the street. There's a big hole in the sidewalk. Do you tell her or sit back and laugh when she falls, run over and grab her purse? The answer is simple. The answer to your question is actually simple too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2007): Oh dear, please be careful Sweetie. I too fell for a taken man and 3 months later he no longer speaks to me as we flirted for 3 months and then finally spent a night together and he felt so guilty that he decided to break all contact with me.
I fell for him very much over the three months and have had the hardest time ever getting over it, harder than any relationship Ive ever had, I think because I know he likes me but he has chosen to be with his family.
Its a tough one, but if you can, please try and be strong and resist him. xxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2007): Since you know he's taken....leave him alone. Why bother in something that will lead no where...and it will lead no where. If your looking for a relationship, move on and find someone who is single and wants to enjoy your company and a possible future together.
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