A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a weird family.I don't know if I should call them weird but they are getting on my nerves.The problem with them is that they spend and shop excessively. And we are from the middle class family.They just can't stop asking me for money. Sometimes, when I buy something for myself (i HARDLY buy something for myself cos they've been asking me for money was too often), they would hate it.I just bought an iPod yesterday and they hated me and it. They kept saying that I don't care about them and only knows how to spend money on stupid things. My mum is now outside crying, just because I buy the iPod and was unable to buy her facial products. FYI, I had bought her a new handphone, the same day I bought my iPod. I do have savings - but it is just a matter of time that it will be sucked dry.And I have NEVER made empty promises to any of them. They simply ask me they want this and that, and if I don't get it for them, I will go thru hell!Being firm in saying NO doesn't help either.I am now planning to sell away the iPod - cos that's what makes them happy. IT FEELS SO TERRIBLE!Do you know what I feel like?I feel like a Cinderella with no happy endings. My tragedy is their joy.I feel like a "bank" to them.And sometimes, I wonder if they are my real family.I am currently working full time in a hospital and hold 4 ad-hoc jobs. My earnings are all hard-earned and ALL I WANTED was an iPod. I waited many ***king months to get one and all they can do is comment how stupid it is.I have come here to ask for help.Because I think I will soon reach my patience limit.I had just Google-d "How to Kill yourself".That is how bad I'm feeling.My heart hurts.I always wanna run away from home but my little brother hold me back. He is the only one who understands my situation. It really hurts.I am emotionally tired.Please don't come and tell me to seek professional help.Cos if it works, I would have gone sooner.And I don't have the time.Please help.Thank you so much!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all who answered.
Some things to add on.
1) I'm not 21 yet. I live in a country where there's this law "You're still under your parents if are below 21". But that doesn't matter, I'll be 21 in a few months time. So I will definitely rent some apartment with my friends.
2) I WAS working and taking my degree at the same time and eventually dropped out of the degree course cos I really cannot afford to continue - both financially and emotionally.
3) I share this extremely special relationship with my little brother who is 9 years old. He is the reason why I've managed to hold on for so long in the family. And I really don't wanna leave him.
A
female
reader, Miss Potter  +, writes (4 November 2008):
 1) Dont get rid of your iPod - you earned it, you wanted it, you bought it on your hard earned money.
2) And why is it exactly they want money from you? Who else works in your family?
3) Can you afford to move out of the house?
4) If you decide to stay at home with them, if you cant afford to rent a place on your own, offer to pay some small compensation to your parents (Brits do that), lets say 15%-20% of your earnings if you eat there, its still less than what you would be spending if you lived on your own and you are not taking everything for granted, you would make a small contribution to the family business. If you do that, agree that there will be no other payments made to them, as you have to save for the future and obviously have a life of your own too.
5) Move out and live with some friends for now if thats possible if the situation is really unbearable?
6) I agree with previous poster - your brother will be just fine without you, hes got his parents by his side, do you think they will let him starve?
7) You have to learn to defend yourself and your needs and wants and learn how to take care of yourself. What if you get married and your partner will end up being like that? Think harder how to resolve this situation!
Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (4 November 2008):
 If you leave you wouldn't be running away from home, you are old enough to just leave. People can only take advantage of you because you allow it. Your brother will be just fine. And your family isn't weird they are bloodsuckers. Move out and stop being a meal ticket or bank.
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