A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I had my heart broken by a guy i was in love with, i loved him from the moment i saw him, for months after i spent all my days thinking about him, talking to him, each time falling deeper, but all this time he was hurting me, i didnt realise how much it upset me at first, he would make me feel amazing, then crap in a matter of hours, he did this for 4 MONTHS!! and then he would be nice again and i would forgive him, we started dating, then he got scared because of his friends, so he broke up with me, anf the hurt continued but still i took him back, a few weeks later we started dating properly, we dated for 3 weeks, then he broke up with me, and he was gone. The guy I spent 10 MONTHS obsessing over was gone. I'm still upset about it now, and we've been broken up for 3 months, he started threatening me, and the police are involved. I want to forget about him, but i can't. Not because i still love him but because i can't forget what he did to me. I now have a new boyfriend, and I'm scared of being hurt again, i don't know what hes thinking, the slightest things that hurt me before, im scared are going to happen again. I want to tust my new boyfriend and i do. I need help on how to learn to trust. Please help me. I want this to work with my new boyfriend and i need to move on from my ex. Help me. Please
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (21 June 2010):
 It's actually easier than you think. What went wrong the last time was that you were so obsessed with your old boyfriend that you were eating, sleeping, and breathing him. You lost sight of who you are, and gave up EVERYTHING for the guy.
That is so totally unbalanced that there was no way for you NOT to get hurt when it all finally came crashing down.
THIS time, focus on YOU, not the guy. Stay in touch with your friends and your studies. If you're in sports or an academic club, stay at it. The new boyfriend is part of your life, not your whole life.
Taking this approach will help you dramatically.
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