A
male
age
41-50,
*lue Stick
writes:I've been seeing a girl for about a month now and everything is going really well. We get on well and the attaction is there. I live with my house mate and have done for some time now. Recently a new girl started work at her business and they have become good friends. We have met a few times and there's something about her I like and I'm sure she feels the same way. One Friday night she came around to the house and we all had a few drinks and I was flirting with her and she with me. When my house mate went to the toilet her friend asked me to sit next to her and we kissed. All fine. The problem is I'm attracted to her more than the girl I'm seeing now and obviously she's attracted to me. But, the bigger problem is this girl is actually engaged!! I know the right thing is to leave things as they are and to not persue it. But I feel really drawn to her and know things could happen for us. What would be the best thing to do.........help!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (30 August 2007):
First off you need to finish it with your girlfriend. Finish it before something more happens with this girl...or some other girl for that matter.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007): OK, you're not looking at it from your poor girlfriends point of view. You're just looking at it from YOUR point of view. You're saying that 'it feels right' and 'you feel drawn to her', which I'm sure is true, but place yourself in your girlfriends shoes. This is unfair. How would you feel if she cheated on you like this? She's trusted you enough to be able to introduce you to her friends and this is a pretty poor way to repay her.
I understand you might say that you can't control how you feel. This is true but you can remain loyal and do something about these feelings.
Before you do anything, you need to talk to this girl and tell her that you feel terribly guilty about what happened, which I'm sure you do, and that you do like her but for the sake of her husband-to-be and your girlfriend, this relationship can't work.
I'm sorry to tell you so harshly but this girl is out of your reach. She is your girlfriends friend and she is engaged.
I don't think it would be a good idea to tell your girlfriend about this either. I don't think she would be best pleased. Would you be if it was you? You are only taking yourself into consideration and that is a really unwise thing to do in a situation like this. Have a sit down and think about how this would affect everybody.
Like I said, the best way would be to cut off seeing this girl at all so feelings can't blossom and everything becomes a whole lot worse.
Trust me, it's better to nip it in the bud.
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