A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I have a boyfriend of almost a year. We're both 17 and he's my first ever boyfriend. We first became best friends before we finally got together. I love him soo much. He's my everything. The problem is I just started college and he hasn't yet. He's working at the moment waiting for his college application to get accepted. The thing is, we don't get to see each other as much as we used to. My college is far away from home and him. He doesn't text me like how he used to anymore. We used to text everyday, send each other goodnight and good morning texts and random I miss you and I love you texts and phone each other just cuz we miss each other. I'm really sad that it doesn't happen anymore. Nothing at all. He's too busy for me lately. He doesn't have another girl, I know and I trust him. He's just too busy with his job and has no time for me anymore. Meanwhile, I'm right here in my college and I think I might have a little crush on my classmate. He's really charming and nice, he smiles to me all the time, he says hi to me all the time, he talks to me every time we bump into each other. I always go to the guys' cafe just to see him and get him to say hi to me. I don't know why but I feel really guilty about having a crush on another guy. Maybe it's because I don't get the attention I used too from my boyfriend anymore and I feel really lonely. I promised him that I will love him forever but now it feels like my feelings for him are fading and I'm scared. I used to think that my love for him will NEVER EVER go away. I'm really scared. I promised him that I'd stay with him forever. I just really miss him but he doesn't seem to be missing me at all. He doesn't text me until I text him first :'(
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best friend, crush, I love you, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011): Hey,
This happens. Guys loose interest and get to a point where they think its acceptable to lay off the novelties you experienced when you first got together.
And it will happen again and again. The problem is that your validating this behavior by the mere fact your still with him and texting him. Im not saying you shouldnt but by doing it your making him think you still love him even though he isnt making any effort. and in his male brain that means that he can do that from now on.
You have to make a judgement call. By finishing with him and persuing the other guy. he will then make loads of effort to get you back. Then from then on he will make more effort.
By staying with him then you validate his behavior and nothing will change. you can sit down and talk to him and he may change for a week then slip back to old ways because he knows deep down that you stand for it.
If you do option A where you finish for this other guy (providing this other guy is also wanting the same things as you. I suggest you get to know him first as a friend without cheating)
If he is interested then he might do the same thing as your current BF. because men are just like that.
So is it a case of better the devil you know... who knows.
Hopeful my suggestions and possible concequences will give you a good platform to base your decisions on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011): It's normal to have a crush, or crushes, even when you are in a relationship. The bottom line is to figure out your true feeling. Who's your heart beating for?Hope it helps.
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