A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I'm in love with another guy whose totally different from my bf... He listens when i talk, offers his opinions on things we discuss, always makes me feel good when i'm down, we laugh about the same things etc... Talking to him is just amazing, always leaves me happy. On this other side, i've been with my bf for almost two years now and i should admit that our relationship has always been well and has also improved with time. We have beautiful plans for our futre together, he's always reminded me that i'm his match, he loves me and would spend the rest of his life with me. Now my bf's been busy with work recently and having little time for us which i ended up being the one having to close the gaps between us, in a sense of emailing him or texting, calling and so on. This has got to a point where i eventually stop doing all this in an attempt to make him realise the distance he's kept between us. But till now, he hasn't come around and i'm starting to think that work is not only the reason he's distancing himself. Now i'm totally falling for this other guy who has so much time to chat to me and all that. He has admitted his feelings towards me and i told him i felt the same... He and i are so amazing together, i get such butterflies when we together.. It just makes me feel like heaven on earth. The only thing is that i have this fear that keeps hitting at me everytime i try to make a move with this guy because i think i still have feelings for my bf and i'm also scared to lose him and what we've work for for two years. It just kills me to think of hurting him. I need a way to search inside of myself if there really is still a space for my bf or i just have to continue pursuing a relationship with this wonderful guy i've met.
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female
reader, No_Nonsense +, writes (3 March 2009):
 Hi there, well this is quite a bit of a sticky situation!
It's good you're thinking this through before doing anything you might regret later.
Do you love your boyfriend?
It seems that if you do, then you have to see if things can be resolved. Talk to him and ask him about why it feels like there's distance growing between you, from his side. Communication is key if you want to make things work!
However, you have to ask yourself something: If things went back to how they were with your boyfriend, could you easily accept the fact of never having a shot with the other guy?
If not, then maybe your heart's telling you to give it a try!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2009): You have to decide what you want and that is it…. What you are doing to your boyfriend is WRONG I don’t understand why people do this, is it because just incase things doesn’t work out with the guy you are cheating on your partner with, that you will still have boyfriend something to fall back on? You should tell your boyfriend what you have been doing and feeling, its not right to keep your BF stringing along. I understand that sometimes someone else gives us a little bit of what the guy we with is not giving us, but you need to compare the 2, is it worth it? Can you close your eyes and without any doubt in your mind say that if you had to leave your partner for this guy that it will be the best thing you can do? Love is strange, and sometimes a bit of excitement (from a 3rd party) makes us feel alive again, even sexy, but is that worth more than your BF of 2 years? Think about it dear, love doesn’t come around every day, and if you choose to take the joy ride now, you might miss out on your chance of being happy. And I also don’t believe that anything that was started dishonestly can last forever. You need to think this through and you need to know that you will have to live with the decision. If you are a member on this site, go read some of the posts on cheating and cheaters, you’ll be amazed how many other girls go through the same thing as what you are going through, some took the joyride, and had to come back coz they realized their mistake. Just read through it and see if you can relate.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, somedummy  +, writes (3 March 2009):
i think the other kid just wants in your pants
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 March 2009):
 That's why young people need to date lots of people. Each relationship shows you what personalities push your buttons and which leave you cold. It's a learning experience. Your current boyfriend was close to being a perfect match but now you've met someone who is even closer to what you really like and want in a guy. I'd break up with the boyfriend and see what develops with the new guy.
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