A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi all! I want some clarification into my situation! I am 22 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 5 years! He's 23! I have always been totally in love with him, he can wind me up most days due to the maturity difference in us, but I still wouldn't be without him! I work in critical care after qualifying as a nurse and I always thought that my job had made me mature and grow up a lot more! Due to the situations I handle and working with a lot of people older than myself! Anyway, I haven't really looked at another man in my 5 year relationship, I have never been interested and I'm still not interested in anyone else! However, I recently met a doctor (not from my hospital or area) and I was compleltey and utterly attracted to him the instance I saw him! He's not particularly good looking or even my 'type' you could say. From his build to his hair colour, totally opposite to what I would normally consider good looking, but as soon as he walked into the room I couldn't help the butterfly's I had. I find myself sub consciously thinking about him all the time, without meaning to. Il go off into my own world without realising. He's helping out and covering another doctors holiday for 3 weeks on the unit. I have never ever felt this way before. I've never felt as instant attraction to person before and not known why I am attracted to them. I don't want to act on this, and I have no plans to act on this. Like I said, I very much love my boyfriend and I don't even know this guy. He seems lovely but I'm not going to risk everything I have for somebody who seems lovely. So I guess my question is why does this happen? Or why has this happened? Is it normally to be completely and utterly drawn to another person without being able to put your finger on the reason why? I just feel like were magnetic and he's drawing me into him. It's a strange feeling I can't describe. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (13 July 2014):
 Completely normal and happens to most of us. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you cant EVER get attracted to anyone else or have a crush on anyone else! I think its creepy when people fixate JUST on their partners with the "I-only-have-eyes-for-you" attitude.
Attractions are normal, fun and harmless...just as long as you don't act on them. Don't ever cheat on your partner because then you cross the borders and step into that very dangerous territory that's strewn with land-mines! If you feel your relationship isn't working out, then break up and only then start another relationship.
Also, remember that while the attraction seems very strong at the moment, it will most definitely fade. You don't know anything about the other person, you're seeing just one facet of his personality that you like and in no way does that mean that you can be happy with him, even if you were to end up together. Its just a crush, treat it like one and with time it'll fade away.
A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack  +, writes (13 July 2014):
Yup, you're really young, it's totally normal for all adults but particularly at your age. Plus, he has been the ONLY guy you've been with your whole adult life.
You haven't experienced variety. Will your relationship last? Only time will tell. You might decide you've grown apart and it's time to move on. And that's ok, too.
Your whole life is ahead of you, so make the most of it. Strive for happiness.
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