A
female
age
30-35,
*ilentBliss
writes:okay so long story short lateley me and my bf havent been talking much becuase his got queit abit on his plate (college work, finding a job). It's been more than a week now and im finding it extremly hard not speaking to him, he used to come on msn but since his laptop has been broken for some he has to share a computer with the rest of his family which adds up to 8 people so you can imagine how hard it is to catch him online. I called him the other night (he cant call me back because his got no credit) i tried for about 2 hours but it would go straight to the answer machine, the night after i didnt call him, we didnt speak all day yesterday so i thought i'd call him at night but when i called it went straight to the answer machine so i didnt bother calling again. I really miss him i don't know what to do i never see him online and when i try to call him it goes straight to the answer machine any advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2009): Try to slow down, girl. And think. You sound so desperate here and stressed. And when a woman is feeling the stress, she will obsess. And when you obsess about 'why' he's not calling what are you doing to yourself? You are allowing your self-esteem to take a nosedive. No guy should have that kind of power over you, I don't care who he is. Stop calling him. He knows where you are, he has your number...so just stop calling him already.
Two things could be going on here. Either he's not into you anymore and ignoring you or he's just one of those guys who can 'shut down' and disengage for short periods of time when they have a lot on their plate. Guys can do this, and women should take note of that. If your relationship has always been good up until, it's likely he's just real busy and he feels confident you will understand. So play it cool, drop this angst and take this, day by day. The key to getting this guy to take note of you, is to play it cool. Get out there and stay busy..real busy. Keep empowering your own life? Are you working? Are you educating yourself? Do you have this wonderfully, great life beyond him,? Do you have other interests? These things are 'things' a lot of guys like in females. Guys like females who have a good solid life and don't NEED him. And if you are needy, he will spot it a mile away. I want you to try an experiement...step away from the phone/computer and get out with friends and have fun. Under no circumstances are you to call or text him. Resist. If this man likes you as you say he does, I guaruntee, that within one week, he will call you. And when he does call, still be you, be happy, positive and be ...busy. and make him work hard for you. After all, you are worth the hard efforts he will have to do, to get you. Grab his attention.
Now, go call some good friends and get out there and have a blast, with them. Live you life..you are vibrant, young and fun! And look, he knows where you are...he will call. And if he can't be bothered, then write him off..he doesn't deserve you then, does he.
A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (10 December 2009):
 Relax, back off and if he gets in touch with you, then he is still interested. Otherwise, he may not be that into you, but you will be fine because there a many other men available. Best wishes from Texas.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2009): Leave him alone, sweetie. Your anxiety of not speaking to him is yours. If he is so hassled with all his work and laptop dying and all that I am sure he may not be able to have the bandwidth to figure out a way to call you.
He will call when he wants to or needs to. Men are like that. Multitasking is not always a strength.
Find something else to do in the meantime.
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