A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:after a night of intoxication a male friend and i ended up sleeping together. he and i have been good friends for about 6 years, and although i always found him to be a great guy, i never allowed myself to be interested for fear of ruining our friendship. he made prior attempts to sleep with me in the past, but each time i turned him down. he was in a relationship when we slept together, which he made clear on many prior occasions was heading no where. i immediately regretted sleeping with him, not only for fear of losing his friendship, but because he had cheated in the process. we talked about its potential affect on our friendship and he promised me everything would work out between us. he was in town visiting at the time and had to return to college a couple of hours away (in the town where his gf lives). a couple of days after returning home he called me to tell me he had broken up with his gf. he said it was something he had been wanting to do for a long time, but sleeping with me helped him follow through with the break-up. he called me every night to talk in the following days and in conversation he gave hints that he was interested in something more. he returned to town for christmas break and we began spending every day together. i wasn't expecting anything to come from it, but we began having sex on a frequent basis. he started showing affection outside of sex and began making comments that gave me the impression he was interested in something more. we are both cautious due to our previous relationships and we are on the same page as far as getting into another relationship (we both wanted to remain single, or not pursue a relationship unless it was exactly what we wanted). i'm beginning to like him more and more and i'm under the impression this is headed somewhere serious, however we haven't had a discussion on where the relationship (or lack thereof) is headed. i've tried to bring it up in conversation, but he doesn't respond with a solid answer or even a hint of what he's looking for. i understand he is fresh out of a relationship and likely wants to take things slow, but he is spending every free minute with me and it's becoming confusing. am i just being paranoid or is this just 'for the moment' and nothing more? could he feel obligated to spend time with me over his fear of ruining our friendship? is this just a sexual attraction on his part? i'd like to know where this is heading, because i'm becoming really interested in him, but i'd like to cut my losses and move on if we aren't on the same page. how do i go about asking him or approaching the situation? should i even ask him at all? it seems obvious that he's interested, but i'd like a solid answer before i invest anymore time and emotion.
View related questions:
christmas, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (15 January 2009):
 Then thats what you tell him, that you need to know if this is more than just friends having sex. You need to be honest and tell him that you need to know if this is heading somewhere because you are STARTING to have feelings for him and you need to know if he feels the same. If he walks away, then those are the ties being cut and you can move on. If he tells you want you want to here then you guys can be happy and go from there. As far as damaging a friendship, the moment you guys slept together messed that up anyway. Sorry hon. But, I think he adores you and I wouldnt worry. He's more than likely thinking the same about you. Good luck
|
