A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Okay, I did something really stupid. I slept with one of my managers from work. I've fancied her since my first day there. She makes my heart melt.She made all these promises to me saying we could be really good together, especially since she's going back to part time work and won't be a manager any more. I was so happy to hear that, and when I woke up the next morning I was on top of the world. But she changed her mind and said that she couldn't be in a relationship with a woman, though I was welcome to stop over again after our next work do in a couple of weeks.I was completely heartbroken when she changed her mind. But she says she can't cope with the idea of being in a relationship with a woman, and doesn't know why she feels this way about me. I don't know what to do, I'm back at work this weekend and I'll just want to hold her and tell her I want to be with her. Which obviously I so can't.Do you think if we spoke she might realise she wants a relationship? And should I stop over hers like she asked after the work do? By that point she won't be a manager any more. But she will still be 32 however and questioning her sexuality, and I will be just gone 19 and a lesbian.Please help me. I've fallen for her completely.
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at work, heartbroken, lesbian, my boss Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (26 March 2008):
 I know this doesn't make it any easier but ask yourself this: If she hadn't made you all those promises, would you have slept with her anyway? The reason I say that is because it doesn't have to be such a bad thing even though it's hard.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh god yes I know I'm gay, I've known since I was 14, I've been out since I was 16, I was engaged to a woman who i went out with for over a year, but because I moved away we broke it off. Definitely gay :) I know what you guys are saying is true but it doesn't make it any easier. Hmph. Thanks for replying xx
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A
male
reader, WizardOfWaz + ♥, writes (26 March 2008):
 I'm with oldersister on this one. The difference between lesbian and bisexual is that lesbians are emotionaly attracted to women as well as physically. Bi-sexual females invariably tend to be sexually broad-minded (or just plain greedy) "straights".
You can no more persuade her to have a fuller relationship with you than she could tempt you into settling down with a guy.
You obviously have completely different emotional needs, if you can't accept her relationship preferences it might be better if you just gave bi women a wide berth in future. It might save you a lot of pain in the long term.
Regards
Waz
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (25 March 2008):
You can't make anyone do anything, include having a relationship with you by force. It's pretty immature of her to make you promises and then back out of them and so I understand you being hurt and devastated! I think if you spoke to her she would probably be willing to have sex with you again, but she'd just be using you and you would be allowing that. When someone tells you they don't want a relationship with you, believe them. I'm sorry, I know this hurts.
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A
male
reader, Edward183 +, writes (25 March 2008):
My advice would be to stay well clear. It looks to me that she was just using you and doesn't want a relationship with you.
Also at your age are you sure about your sexuality?
Don't rush into things.
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