A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex dumped me nearly 5 months ago. I am starting to feel that I am getting over him now, although I still get upset from time to time. Thing is, I feel totally inadequate now. My impression and others is that he wasn't over his ex, who had treated him really badly, and he needed to be by himself. I felt like he was being nasty to me alot of the time which I think was his way of pushing me away, but people have told me it was simply that he couldn't be in a relationship right now.I'll never understand how he could have been so wonderful and everything I looked for in a man to everything I disliked in a person.He wanted to resort straight back to being good friends, which I had told him I can never do with exs. He came over to my house 5 weeks later and told me about a girl he had met who he really liked that he was considering asking out! I keep thinking did I mean so little to him that he could have been over me in 5 weeks! He said she was very clever having got certain qualifications (even though I have got more than her), and that they never stopped talking which i thought wasn't nice of him to say given that I started to find it really hard work to make conversation with him. He said she was a 19 year old medical student. I never feel jealous, and I felt intently so when he said all this because she is 12 years younger than me, knowing what she wants to do in life and going for it. She is likely to earn a lot more money than me and has basically got the world at her feet, whereas my life has been a catalogue of bad luck.I felt like my ex boyfriend was being hugely insensitive. I helped him to get over his ex, who he raved about even though she was deeply unpleasant, and then he started to go on about other girls. I feel like I didn't exist to him, and he kind of insinutates that I brought this all upon myself.I never see him anymore (my choice) but miss our friendship (not relationship) terribly. The worst of all this is that my health has suffered: I had an 'episode' over the weekend which could be epilepsy so I now can't drive until they rule it out and since I live in a very rural area I face total isolation (my friends have all moved 100's of miles away) and possibly having to give my job up. My friends have been telling me I am overdoing everything, but I wanted to keep myself busy to avoid my ex invading my thoughts and I also wanted to make new friends in my locality. I just don't think I can face anymore bad luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2007): This guy sounds like a real scumbag! You are a confident intelligent woman! He saw this in you and probably felt inadequate, so what does he do put you down and totally damage your self esteem!! Don't be his victim, as for telling you he'd met a girl better, more clever etc. just tells me what a total loser he is. Hold your head up high you are worth so much more to someone who will appreciate you. This guy is bad news and he's succeeding to bring you down, don't let him do this to you. what a nasty piece of goods he sounds like, be strong and learn to love yourself.
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