A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello. Can anyone help? I split with my partner in February this year after 4 years together. It was my decision. We didn't live together but I have a son from a previous marriage and he has 2 sons too. Mine is 12 and his are 14 and 17.Since then he has texted me loads of times wanting to try and sort things out between us. For me, things hadn't been good since about September last year - I felt we had totally drifted apart and were going in different directions in life. We got together quite soon after my marriage ended too. Anyay, he kept texting me and we met up a few times just to iron out our feelings and to see where we went wrong. I somehow didn't feel that physical attraction anymore - he just seemed like a really good mate.I know he thinks the world of me and wanted to make our relationship work and try again. I thought long and hard and decided to give it a try. That was a few weeks ago. Now though, I'm just not sure it was the right decision. I still can't get past thinking of him just as a friend. He keeps saying he loves me but I can't say it back. Then I think of the longer term future. I'm not sure I can see myself with him for the rest of my life and couldn't imagine us living together.There seems to be so many differences in our outlook on life. I'm nearly 39, he's 46 and not sure if that has anything to do with it. He really is a nice guy and we can chat about everything and I know he would never hurt me but I just feel somehow that I'm settling for something that is ok but not great. What should I do? Please help if you can.
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male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (18 September 2007):
Stick with you original decision. Start looking for a new man that lights your fire.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): If you feel you are 'just settling' then do not put him through the high expectation and happiness of a potential reconciliation. That is extremely unfair to him. You are waffling...you feel happy where life has taken you...you don't think you are attracted to him...so why on earth would you risk pain and hurt to him by even considering this. Be truthful with him. Cut him loose and allow him the opportunity to go out there and find a female who would be attracted to him and appreciate the love he wants to offer a special lady in his life. You sound like you will be fine without him, hun. Don't do this because you feel you should. Do it because you would want to. ANd by what your posting suggests, you are simply not that into him. Let him go.
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