A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I'm a mother of two: my youngest son's 16, my oldest's 23.I got a phone call off my son's high school yesterday and the content was worrying.The teacher told me that my 16-year-old son has been suspended from school over allegations he raped someone, but he claims that he had been raped.He told me he had been raped, and that the allegations that he raped someone were complete nonsense and a lie, and he is not sure what to do next.How do I deal with this situation?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2007): I think that you should find out who the victim or perpetrator is, and find out more about her (assuming that she is female). I hate to say stereo types aside, that it would be very rare for a girl his age to be the rapist and then go report to the school that he raped her....it could be that the whole thing was mutual, but you will never know unless there is an investigation.
Has your son shown any signs that he is obsessed with control and power over others, does he have anger issues, has he ever been sexually molested? Has he ever been a vandal or any other kind of troubled kid?
I would seek some professional counseling for him as soon as possible, tell him you support him what ever the truth is, because either way, victim or perpetrator, he needs help, and he needs help now, or this could really ruin his life.
Good luck, and my thoughts and prayers are with you.
A
male
reader, macboy  +, writes (12 May 2007):
 Firstly, you need to let him know you are on his side.Denying that he was raped can seriously hurt him.You should never let male and female stereotypes determine a resolution.It seems as if his school has already done this.Do not let anyone convince you that because he was male, he did it!A female can easily rape a male (especially at his young age), but no male would want to admit this because it goes against the male stereotype. This sounds absurd, but it is certainly true.Also, this girl may have raped him (or consented), and then told a teacher as to attack him.If he seriously tells his story that he was raped (against the male stereotype); then he must be strongly trying to support himself.Let him know that he is safe to admit this problem, as it is unlikely for him to be convicted as a criminal because he is too young.If he refuses to admit, support his story. His conscience will ultimately show the truth if he is lying.If he does admit, then there are counselling services available.However, I suggest moving schools or better yet regions.A problem like this can haunt a boy for the rest of his school years, and thus can affect his development and social life.Any parent must stand by their son through situations like these, even if they themselves do not believe him.
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A
female
reader, love-him  +, writes (12 May 2007):
 explain to him, if he has been raped then its a very serious matter, contact the police immediately. if you are in any doubt that he has raped someone else, do the same, contact the police. if the school are aware of the problem, then they could tell the police. the best thing to do in this situation is go to the police about it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2007): Can he tell you who raped him?
Firstly, you need to let him know you are on his side.
Denying that he was raped can seriously hurt him.
You should never let male & female stereotypes determine a resolution.
It seems as if his school has already done this.
Do not let anyone convince you that because he was male, he did it!
A female can easily rape a male (especially at his young age), but no male would want to admit this because it goes against the male stereotype. This sounds absurd, but it is certainly true.
Also, this girl may have raped him (or consented), and then told a teacher as to attack him.
If he seriously tells his story that he was raped (against the male stereotype); then he must be strongly trying to support himself.
Let him know that he is safe to admit this problem, as it is unlikely for him to be convicted as a criminal because he is too young.
If he refuses to admit, support his story.
His conscience will ultimately show the truth if he is lying.
If he does admit, then there are counselling services available.
However, I suggest moving schools or better yet regions.
A problem like this can haunt a boy for the rest of his school years, and thus can affect his development and social life.
Any parent must stand by their son through situations like this, even if they themselves do not believe him.
...............................
A
male
reader, macboy +, writes (12 May 2007):
Firstly, you need to let him know you are on his side.
Denying that he was raped can seriously hurt him.
You should never let male & female stereotypes determine a resolution.
It seems as if his school has already done this.
Do not let anyone convince you that because he was male, he did it!
A female can easily rape a male (especially at his young age), but no male would want to admit this because it goes against the male stereotype. This sounds absurd, but it is certainly true.
Also, this girl may have raped him (or consented), and then told a teacher as to attack him.
If he seriously tells his story that he was raped (against the male stereotype); then he must be strongly trying to support himself.
Let him know that he is safe to admit this problem, as it is unlikely for him to be convicted as a criminal because he is too young.
If he refuses to admit, support his story.
His conscience will ultimately show the truth if he is lying.
If he does admit, then there are counselling services available.
However, I suggest moving schools or better yet regions.
A problem like this can haunt a boy for the rest of his school years, and thus can affect his development and social life.
Any parent must stand by their son through situations like these, even if they themselves do not believe him.
...............................
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