A
female
age
13-15,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend and i have been dating for a really long time. i'm in love with him. seriously in love with him. he told me that he didnt want to be with the same girl for the rest of his life, because we're still young. i dont know what to do. we've had so many good times, fun memories. I gave him my virginity. he's like my bestfriend. i cant live without him, and i know that for a fact. things just dont feel the same as they use to be. but i need him in my life, and dont want to break up. what do i do? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, baby duck + ♥, writes (27 March 2008):
 oopsie ... just saw my typo ... that's amygdala, not amylgada ...
oh geez
A
female
reader, Harbbey3000  +, writes (26 March 2008):
well,its quite unfortunate but if he wants 2 go u cant stop him,u r still young and u definitely can live witout him.If he says he wants 2 go pls let him,dont force urself on him,dont humilate urself honey.I wish u good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): Way to young to know the implications of being together for life. Your only in your early teens, and you have yet to mature with experience and knowledge to think beyond being a teen, let alone an adult.
Your both still in the learning and experienceing stage. Making any type of commitment now is foolish. You still need to learn what your needs are, what you believe to be right and wrong. Thinking of a long term relationship should not happen until your at least 18, when you finish high school. In the meantime, this is the time you experience the behaviors of others, this will give you experience. Having sex is simple and provide only temporary relief, maybe for an hour, but getting to know the heart, the way one thinks, and either of you adjust so that you both are very similar in the way you act and respond is critical in a long term relationship. But it takes practice, and this doesn't include sex, that comes latter when you have already formed a strong bond that will last a long time. Having sex before this may end up hurting you latter. For at this age, bragging is common, the immaturity of both boys and girls at this age, if not kept in control, can have have ill effects latter.
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A
female
reader, baby duck + ♥, writes (26 March 2008):
Well, hon ... you're learning a very painful lesson. Giving something to someone, no matter how valuable it is, does not guarantee anything.
You are way too young to decide that he's 'the one'. You are going to grow and change in ways you cannot even imagine. So is he. As a matter of fact, the only way for anyone to really truly find the right person is to be very selective about who they date, but to date more than a few before settling down. Do not sleep with anyone else until (1) you are of legal age and (2) you have dated him for a few months.
A FEW MONTHS? you say. No guy will stay with me if I don't sleep with him! Ah ha! That's the point, my dear. The young man that is truly interested in YOU, and not sex with you, WILL date you for a few months. I know you don't like my advice because you're hurting now and you want something to stop the pain now.
Well, the only way to truly get rid of the pain is to allow yourself to feel it. Pretending that it is not there only delays the inevitable. Feel it. Cry. Punch your pillow. Open an account at livejournal and write, write, write. Post here. Writing and talking about that which stresses us allows the amylgada (part of brain that processes emotions, pain, etc) to delegate some of the responsibility to other parts of the brain. That is why it feels good to vent.
So, what's done is done. Learn you lessons and let the baggage go.
You have lot of living ahead of you, sweets.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): This is the problem with kids having sex honey, he's too young to want to settle down. He's just horny, and yeah I'm sure he likes you a lot, but deep down he wants sex. Girls mature quicker than lads by about 2 years, so you're probably more ready for what he is not.
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