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female
age
41-50,
*orr
writes: I really need some advice on a partner that I suspect of cheating. A few weeks ago(call it womans intuition)that I felt that something was not right in the relationship. To cut a long story short I confronted him about my feelings and he told me that he has no reason to cheat on me, but I still did not feel satisfied.Over the weekend I decided to join myspace as I have noticed that my boyfriend had joined and he would say it was good to network with other people as he is a musician.Anyway we had an argument a few days ago and I did not hear from him, and as my suspicions were on high alert I decided to visit his myspace page for clues. Little did I know that he was conversing with a lady on there. I feel that I am going mad as he as said to her "I miss you babes xxxx", "I miss you" "Stay sexy". She also replies back that she misses him. Reading further, I have noticed that he was trying to arrange to meet up with her, without my knowledge.What hurts me the most is that he would text me the exact same message on my mobile,now I find that he's sending her the exact same message.I feel so hurt, as I have never heard him mention this paricular friend before, and I feel betrayed.I managed to end it with him via email(Could not face talking to him on phone,as so angry)Just need to know if I am overracting about this? Whether men think this is normal behaviour? Or whether I did the right thing?I am so hurting right now,and wonder if there are any decent men left(not generalizing)Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (12 December 2006):
 If you have made your decision then I applaud you. Many people allow these sorts of situations to drag on creating an unhealthy life for both people.
I wish you luck.
Stay strong.
x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): "Stay sexy"???? You should break up over that alone.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (12 December 2006):
 You go girl!!! Good luck!!!
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A
female
reader, lorr +, writes (12 December 2006):
lorr is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for your reply. Just to let you know that I feel relieved having read your comments, and feel that I have done the right thing.
He's done something like this before, but this time with his ex-girlfriend who was sending me anonymous emails earlier this year.
He is not one of those guys who is open, and is extremely passive.Always avoiding an argument, and I know that if I was to confront him face to face, I wouldn't get anything out of him.
When I sent him the email yesterday,I pretty much told him that he is welcome to her,I don't want him anymore, and that I pity any girl that has to put up with him.(Harsh I know)
Haven't heard anything from him, and don't expect to. So now its my time to move on.
Thanks again
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): hey sweetie,
i dont think you are over reacting at all. He may be telling you the truth saying he is not cheating now, but if he had met up with that girl, who knows what might have happened. you are better off without him, and well done for being strong and getting rid.
i think msging is cheating in itself anyway, if he is with you he should be with you and open and honest!
my ex did the dirty on me and left before i had chance to throw him out, and i thought there were no decent men out there full stop. But now 3 years on I am with a lovely man and I know he would not cheat. I think once something like this happens your instincts tell you - as yours did on this occassion. Good luck stay stron, go out and have some fab girly nights out over christmas and forget about him, and if you feel ready pucker up for a kiss with some gorgeous strangers under the mistletoe to help you forget the rot and realise what you have been missing out on xx
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A
female
reader, beautifulxxbrunette08 +, writes (12 December 2006):
 hmm...dawl...this is so hard... it doesn't seem right to me either. when someone cares about you, they do not say the exact same things to another woman as they did to you. that just isn't how it 'should' work. i don't think you overreacted, to a degree. did you talk to him or ask him any questions about? i do think that maybe if you got his side of the story about it first instead of letting anger overpower you, then you might find out things you did not know. there might be a reasonable explanation, as there could also not be. to me it sounds like he was being very discrete about this woman and that he had no intention of informing you of these 'planned meetings'. all i know is, before you end something, you should get details. i mean he owes you that much right?? well darling best of luck. talking always heals.
ash
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