A
male
age
41-50,
*rokenheart75
writes:I fell in love with a married woman, we started as a secret but in time we both fell in love, her husband found out about us kicked her out of the apartment and stayed with the kids, she was heart broken about not being able to stay with the kids but she went and stayed with her mother. I told her that I was going to move closer to her so we can be together until she is able to be on her own to be with the kids until we where able to make a life together. things got really complicated between her the husband and the kids because he used the kids as a way to try to get her back telling her that he will never allow for them to be with her if she doesn't go back with him and leaves me. after sometime she decided to go back so she ended the relationship with me, but tells me that the only reason she is going back is because she wants to be with her kids but not because of him, she still wants me in her life even if as friends. I agreed but when we are together we cant stop kissing. Should I continue being around her? or should I stop any contact with her outside from work (we work together). she says she loves me and that she is in love with me but she is back with her husband, she also tells me not to wait for her because it wouldn't be fair to me but to stay around in her life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2009): Sometimes things in married couples are a lot more complicated than it seems. For a woman her kids can be EVERYTHING and she will do anything to be around them. She is probably saying the truth when she says she loves you and is in love with you. Many couples stay married just for the sake of the kids and they separate when the kids are older.
She is right though, you should not wait for her. She really shows her love to you for being so honest and telling you that.
I would do what you said, see her on occasions only but trying to get your life back in track as well. You can still find a great single woman out there and fall in love with her and have a future together.
Good luck and keep us posted!
A
male
reader, brokenheart75 +, writes (6 August 2009):
brokenheart75 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyou are right if she went back is because she wanted to go back not because the kids alone, she still wants me because I give her what she doesn't get at home, but I no longer have any hopes or making plans for a future together, I gave that up. but if she wants to be with me on occasions ill be with her but that its all she is getting just occasions. even if she leaves her husband.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2009): so she went back for the kids. if you believe this then you are a bigger fool. people go back because they want to, just the kids are a part of it but learn something in life. married people go back because they want to. simple. no drama. if she tells you she is not sleeping wih her hb, that is also a lie. realise this, your ffair was wrong. her hb had guts to boot her out. i am sure sh did not expect it. he kept the kids. well done to him. but with her she knows where her bread is buttered. therefore she is back with him, make no mistake . if she is so concerned about the kids she wouldn't have started her affair with you in the first place. in fact you both deserve what the hb did, i ams ure you both did not expect him to take control of this situation. (sorry it is not what you want to hear). cut out the emotions ties with her. it only spells trouble. if you think the hb will not find out she is still seeing you in the sly think again. this time she won't be so lucky. she will have to pay a very dear price for her affair. thus far she is lucky that he accepted her back. i am sure he is extracting his revenge in the bedroom, most of the time that is what happens. if she reslly wanted to be with you, she would have. she may not love her hb but she is used to what he is providing so please do not fool yourself. she is not free because she doesn't want to be free of her man. it was her choice and she choose her hb and family over you. she is playing a very dangerous game by sneaking around with you, i think you better warn her about this. if you value her life, cut all ties.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (5 August 2009):
 Leave her alone until she is divorced for six months. Never get involved with a married person, it always ends in heartbreak for somebody. Whether she goes back for the kids or for love is irrelevant, because either way you end up alone.
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