A
female
age
51-59,
*inga ninga
writes:hi there, i am a woman of 47 and have been unlucky with relationships,my first marraige i was very young and was very abusive,it took me years to get a mental state of mind back to normal,my 2nd partner started out as a lending ear, i fell pregnant and we were together for 19yrs and when the kids were old enough we split on a mutual decision.I never loved this guy but cared deeply for him. anyway about a year ago i met a guy on a dating website and we hit it off straight away,he was funny,kind etc,i thought i had finally found everything in my life at once,yes we met every weekend he came to me and vice versa and told me everything i wanted to hear,after 6 months(november2012) his girlfriend who i knew nothing about contacted me thru his phone and spoke to me, i told her everything as i didnt even know he had a girlfriend, which he has been with for 2 years now.she is 51 and the guy in question is 29,and im 47,anyway she told me she was going to forgive him as she loved him and they were going to work things out,so i musnt contact him,so i respected her wishes and didnt make any contact.2 weeks ago he contacts me and wants to start up where we left off, i have refused as he is still with the woman,but its killing me as i love this guy and i know he feels the same way but just wont admit it.i have tried dating other guys to forget him and i am working loads to stop thinking about him but every small second he is on my mind if i allow it to be,i really miss him and its very hard to be strong on the outside when inside your heart is breaking in two.i still hope after 2 months of no contact that one day he will see that i can make him happy and come to me as he clearly cant have much happiness as he strayed in the first place Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (20 February 2013):
 Yes! I PROMISE YOU it gets easier with time...
living well really is the best revenge...
A
female
reader, ginga ninga +, writes (20 February 2013):
ginga ninga is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes you are right, I would never be able to trust him would I?I just wish I could forget him but its hard, does it get easier as time passes?Thank you for your response and I know I am better than this and I will come out of this a much more positive, stronger woman:)
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 February 2013):
I am so sorry you were fooled by a liar and a cheater. What part of his lying and cheating do you miss???
And let me ask you this… if he leaves his current gf for you, when he’s not with you, won’t you wonder if he’s lying to you and cheating on you like he did to her???
DO NOT think that you are the be all that will make him stop cheating... because if you were he would have left his GF of 2 years and would be with you.
think about how life would be with him?
think about the fact that he can lie and cheat and say "I love you" all at the same time?
consider the fact that you will never be able to trust him.
and if you say "oh it would be different with us"... think about how you can convince yourself of this knowing he's lying and cheating a woman he's been with for two years. she forgave him... he knows he can lie and cheat on her and get away with it... he will assume he could do the same to you.
he's bad news.... you need to allow yourself to see this.
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A
female
reader, ginga ninga +, writes (20 February 2013):
ginga ninga is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your reply and i most certainly will reconsider all that you have mentioned:)
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A
female
reader, ginga ninga +, writes (20 February 2013):
ginga ninga is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your reply and i most certainly will reconsider all that you have mentioned:)
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (20 February 2013):
 You write that you are "unlucky" with relationships.
Many of us believe that "luck" is related to those things that we can't control (like the weather, or world affairs), whilest the are many details, in life, that we attribute to "luck".... but which really ARE under our control. Love and relationships fall in to the latter category.
Please look inside yourself and reconsider those (men) who you have allowed in to your inner life. I have one question about them and you... and I think it's an important question.... Relative to this, which you wrote:
"i still hope after 2 months of no contact that one day he will see that i can make him happy and come to me as he clearly cant have much happiness as he strayed in the first place .."
Do you believe that your relationship(s) can/will/would have succeed(ed) if only men would see and understand that you can make him happy? If so, then you may have a weak premise for selecting your men-partners.... If a man is not happy ALL ON HIS OWN then he is not likely to be any - or much - happier because he spends time with you....
Mull over YOUR expectations about relationships, and see if your NEXT relationship can't be much better if you can take up with a guy who is happy WITHOUT you, and WHO WANTS TO MAKE YOU HAPPY......
Good luck....
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