A
male
age
41-50,
*ysticBreeze
writes:i'm now 29 years old. I had been in a sexual relationship with my girlfriend for 3 years (2005-2008). In fact, we lived together for a year. We loved each other much before. However, she became very very weak during our live-in. we did have one abortion in December 2007, which also made her physically very weak. She began to be very impatient and used to get angry with me for everything. Though i understood its because of her physical weakness, i too did have a hot temper. I used to bear it for a while and then i also shouted back at her. Due to the pressures of living together without the knowledge of family and most friends, we had these kind of arguments and fight. Then in 2008, i went abroad for studies and she migrated to Australia for work. Even living in different countries, we continued our relationship. From Australia, she told me that 'the psychiatrist told her not to marry me, because we have already damaged our relationship so much and that it'd hurt her physical and mental health.So we went into a sort of break up. we didnt contact each other for a while. but i always thought about her. eventhough i went out with some girls while living abroad, i couldnt make any commitment to them. The three years living with her, the abortion and all these really troubling me. i dont want to marry anyone else. and i think it will be unfair to leave a girl after being with her for so much time.recently, i contacted her. after few days, she told me she is in medication for depression. and she felt very peaceful when i didnt contact her. now she feels emotional again (tension if i dont pick up her calls, too happy, etc). she has no physical strength to bear such emotional changes. she is pleading me to leave her alone. She also said that she dont want to marry and will live taking care of her brother's daughter. i dont know what to say. my parents are asking me marry soon as i'll be turning 30 soon. i'm really in a cross road. please advice me what to do. Thanking you in advance
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2010): i think you should talk to her directly about the marriage besides "the other things". if she feels happy and try to console her, than you can have your way..
she is physically drained and this is not a good situation for a girl to prosper again like the way you think..
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (4 August 2010):
 For pete's sake she's not the only girl in the world..If she isnt emotionally stable then my dear she is no shape to carry on a relationship with u. She needs to focus on herself and her well being. It doesnt matter how long uve been with her if the connection is no longer there then all u can do is move on. Maybe she'll change her mind when she becomes more stable. As for u marrying, Im not sure of ur country's customs but in America we decide when we are absolutely in love and are ready to make that commitment.
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