A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is kind of embarrassing, but I want to feel better about it.So i'm 16 years old and I masturbate about 3-4 times a week. I'm still a virgin, i've never gone further with a guy than a guy putting his hand down there (over my clothes) and making out.Is this a bad thing? I feel so.. not normal because i'm pretty sure most girls my age don't masturbate.. They either have sex or nothing at all.Should I stop doing it? I just want some answers :/
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): I'm 18, and I live with my boyfriend. We have sex on a regular basis. And I masturbate. He knows about it, and we don't have problems in bed. It's not a strange or bad thing. Guys our age do it all the time, and they aren't ashamed. Don't feel bad about it girl, it's just you exploring.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (14 July 2010):
 Yep, some people have problems and are shy or scared of people and life. Masterbation feels nice, so they hide away doing that all day. It's not a problem with masterbation, it's a problem with not being able to cope with life. At 3-4 times a week, you don't have this problem.
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A
female
reader, LilPixie +, writes (13 July 2010):
 I think she meant as long as you don't feel like you have to do it all the time and it doesn't control your life.
Some people become so obsessed with it they'll even stop meeting their friends just so they can stay at home and do it and won't be able to concentrate on work/ school if they are unable to do it or haven't done for a certain amount of time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhoa, wait.
As long as it doesn't become compulsive?
What exactly does that mean??
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (13 July 2010):
 Well, you can be pretty sure that most girls your age DO masturbate. It's normal, should be guilt-free and is harmless as long as it's not compulsive.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (13 July 2010):
Normal, most girls your age do masterbate, but it's not something anyone talks about. For virgin's (and all people) masturbation is wonderfull. It allows you to wait for sexual intercourse, it helps you to become aware of your body so you will know when something is wrong, it teaches you about sexual pleasure in a very safe way, and it helps to destress and relax you and remove any tension.
Culture makes us think this is wrong, but even though it's not talked about, masterbation is something that many people do... You are normal.
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (13 July 2010):
Masturbation has been discouraged, or even prohibited, by many religions, cultures and family values around the world. And women are usually more strongly condemned than men for practicing masturbation so it's understandable for you to think "I'm the ONLY person I know who does this.". Resolving this difference between your actions and the beliefs of those around you may be at the heart of your question.
Or perhaps not. Even where masturbation is tacitly accepted, it is still a very personal, private matter.
General attitudes may be changing. In some places, public health officials have made statements approving, or even encourage the habit of masturbation. See, for example, http://abcnews.go.com/Health/MindMoodNews/story?id=8072314&page=1 .
If you seed a search engine with "female masturbation frequency" you will find plenty of information that shows many of your girlfriends DO masturbate. Some casual surveys claim about half of all teen girls masturbate more than once a week; controlled studies find less activity but it's well into double-digit percentages.
You asked, "Is this a bad thing?". I'd say probably not. You may receive some of the following benefits from masturbation:
- General psychological stress relief, if done without shame or guilt.
- Overall physical relaxation.
- Improved sleep; natural antidote for insomnia.
- Relief of menstrual cramps.
- Reduced pressure to engage in inappropriate, unsafe, or emotionally harmful sexual relationships.
- Learning about your personal sexual response, to improve adaptation with your future partner.
- Satisfying sexual needs without risk of disease or pregnancy.
(We're learning that orgasm is a rather complicated thing in both men and women, and it looks like there are subtle differences between the climaxes people get from masturbation and what they experience with their lovers but the physiological benefits of regular sex with a partner seem to also apply to masturbation.)
The only potential harm seems to be if your masturbation becomes compulsive, and used to avoid normal social interactions with other people.
So go ahead and enjoy it - without guilt or shame, to the extent that's possible.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2010): It is estimated that 90% of all women masturbate - and the remaining 10% are liars!
Seriously though, no harm can come to you through masturbating; it's a wonderful and safe release of sexual tension and can start as young as five years old and continue to 99 years old!
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A
female
reader, DiamondGirlx +, writes (13 July 2010):
 its totally normal, stop worrying! :D x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys :) I feel better about it now.
I just felt awkward because it seems like it's only okay when guys do it.
But i feel like it's better than having sex because i know that i'm not responsible enough to handle the consequences of sex yet. But i still have hormones :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2010): You are normal. Most girls your age do it and dont admit to it to their friends. I'll be honest with you, I didnt lose my virginity til I was 17 but started masturbating when I was 15. I didnt tell my friends because I had thought it was weird. But now that Im older and talk to my girl friends about this stuff they tell me they did the same thing.
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A
female
reader, icaaru  +, writes (13 July 2010):
 You're normal. There's nothing wrong with that. Actually most girls at the age of 13 or 12 already know how to masturbate what more for those at your age. :)
Actually i'd prefer masturbating or making out to your boyfriend more that having sex at young age :)
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A
female
reader, LilPixie +, writes (13 July 2010):
Believe me, most girls your age will masturbate, even if they have a boyfriend they have sex with. Girls just don't tend to talk as openly about it as guys.
And no, it's not a bad thing. Wait for that special someone to have your first time with. You'll be glad later that you waited rather than going along with the crowd.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (13 July 2010):
Oh yes they do. Don't you worry at all. You're perfectly normal.
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A
female
reader, Badd Girl +, writes (13 July 2010):
 its normal to do it at your age its nothing to be embarassed about or to feel not normal about. some girls arent ready for sex and thats ok so do it as much as you want its totaly normal.
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A
female
reader, Duckyhelp +, writes (13 July 2010):
 Its sooo normal! Girls just don't voice their thoughts about masturbation as guys do to each other, so don't worry at all, im pretty sure that most girls our age do! It's normal and healthy, and don't stop inless you don't feel the urge to!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2010): It's best you aren't like "MOST" girls today, don't have sex just because your hormones are raging. Masturbation is normal, and your at an age when all girs do that including the ones having sex....every adult or at least the majority will take care of themselves from time to time.
In your case it is a way to keep your virginity in tact until you are ready for sex (ie you can support a child and are independent on your own not in your parent's care etc). It is a way to explore your body and your sexual responses, so no worries, OK? And stop comparing yourself to most girls, that is a recipe for unhappiness and foolish choices.
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