| A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I'm curently with a boy who I like, we have been together for a good 8 months now and he claims he loves me... and yes we have our ups and downs however we always pull through the other end.He started to suggest to me that we should have sex, however I'm worried because I'm a virgin and he's a lot more experienced than me.He took me to a garage and tried to make a move on me but I pushed him away and explained no! This is not my idea of my first time stop!. Since then I just feel so worthless and distrispected. I just don't know whether to stay with him or not.After I told him he explained yeh I understand and I know it should be special he said don't worry I will take you to my house.I really don't know what to exspect from my first time and feel physically and mentally put off of the boy. What do I do and what can I say to him...?
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female
reader, LAdiiSuPahSt4r  +, writes (23 April 2009):
 Girl I feel you. I got 2 boysz wanting me to lose it to them, and like 3 more wanting me to suck ther you know what. I am a virgin and planning on staying that way but I feel soo pressured but my advice to you is to just keep sayying no and I think he is playying you. He went out with you for 8 months thinking you would fall in love with him and now he wanna take you 2 a garage and try and you say no and he offers his house. All I got to say is Don't do IT. Many people I know who have done it said they regret it which is why I choose not 2
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): I lost my virginity to my man after eight months, and I regretted it. I mean yes, I did it with someone who cared about me, but I regretted it, because I wanted to wait until marriage. He told me that he was proud of me for "doing something new, or getting out of my comfort zone," whatever that means. We went out for four more months and we got married, because I loved him, and also because I couldn't live with the guilt of constantly having premarital sex.
You are too young for this. Ditch the guy.
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (22 April 2009):
 "I feel physically and mentally put off him now as I feel pressured into having sex with him"
Good! Ditch the idiot. YOU decide when YOU'RE ready. Don't be pressured into anything you don't want to do.
You're right to feel worthless and disrespected. He obviously doesn't think much of you. At least this will make it easier for you to tell him where to go.
Sex is something special to be shared between 2 people who love, care and respect each other when you're both ready.
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A
female
reader, Klara  + ♥, writes (22 April 2009):
ups and downs ?..after 8months..?
well i have a feeling you will majorly regret this..and i think you have that feeling too.. you are way smart, you are articulate and you stood up for yourself , that puts you a cut above a lot of girls good for you.
but the real question is, whether you will be pressured by this guy or not. He seems a bit clueless if he thinks to make a move on you in a garage for your first time...come on..he's not thinking about you, but about satisfying himself...
you deserve the best and a guy who treats you like the best..not like a conquest who is running out of time..
Answer yourself this. Do you think if you were to suddenly break up with him, after 4months he would still be saying he's in love with you or have some other chick?
Having sex is so meaningful, its about building a connection and being intimate with your partner in a way that is special to you both. Please think on this..your body is giving you clear signs you don't want to do this by your feelings...listen to them
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): It's a really, really simple thing for both of you to digest. You have sex when YOU want to. Not when he wants to.
Don't fall for the "if you love me you'll have sex with me either". If he truly did, he would respect you and your values. Have sex with who you want, WHEN you want. It's as easy as that! :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): you are clearly not ready for sex. I was 15 when i lost mine to a boy who i thought i loved. i wasn't ready but i felt pressured. from experience,i think that you should wait until you are sure that you feel this is the right choice to make. its really good that you told him no and if he keeps trying he clearly doesn't respect your wishes. at 13 - 15, you're too young to understand what love is, and i say this with the upmost respect. and if you do decide to go ahead with this, always use a condom. and before you do anything speak to your mum about going on the pill, she might be more understanding than you think. whatever you choose i hope its the right choice
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A
female
reader, satindesire  +, writes (22 April 2009):
 You're a minor. He needs to understand that having any kind of sexual contact with you is illegal.
You aren't ready, sweetie, and if he won't stop pressuring you, you need to break up with him. If he won't respect you or care about you, then you don't need to be with him.
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