A
female
age
36-40,
*axmi
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now and we are in love. But I feel like he is withdrawing from me. His mom is severally sick and he can not go see her she is in another country. So that is one thing that has him depressed. We do not go out like we use to. he is not as sweet as he use to. I know this depression has a lot to do with it and i am sympathic with him about it, however, now he is telling me he has to work 7 days a week for the next week and he is not sure when he will get the day off, because due to a cut in staff. so now i feel like that cuts our time for seeing each other. I called him today and found this out. when i found out i reacted a little bad and i told him that is not right then i stood quite and told him that i can not say anything that is his job. he asked me what happen and i told him nothing i will talk him later. All i want is to have a little romance in our relationship. I dont want to pressure him but i feel like i can be a little selfish for myself. I dont know am i wrong. Please help me i want to be a good girlfriend and have him in my life forever.
View related questions:
depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009): It seems to me his withdrawal is his way of dealing with his problems without burdening you...men often withdraw in order think and process a problem. Since his mother is ill and he can't be there he probably has her on his mind.
As far as working more hours that actually may help him keep his mind off of his problems.
If he is a little depressed it isn't a lot of fun for you, but I would not put additional pressure on him and nag him for more time or romance.
Instead maybe try doing some romantic things yourself for him at home. Leave him a note on the bathroom mirror or put one in his lunch. Cook his favorite dinner and tell him you want to see him at a specific time you have a surprise for him, light some candles, have some wine, and put on some music, turn off the TV and reconnect, use your imagination and you'll come up with something romantic for the two of you.
Sometimes when one partner is underfunctioning, the other one kind of has to pick up the slack. Ask him if there is anything you can do for his mother, send her a gift a card some flowers, or if he would like to talk to you more about it.
I hope some of these suggestions helped.
|
