A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My daughters father supervises visits between his son and ex wife. He invites her over to our place- and doesn't ask me first how I feel. Their interaction has gone as far as since the visits, he has spent most- minus two, of his days off with his ex wife and son. Leaving his daughter and I home alone. Taken them ice skating and to lunch. He has yet to do anything iwth our one year old, it is all up to me to feed her, bathe her, make appointments for doctor visits, cut her nails, and so on. He is always hands on with his son. Our little girl does NOT get the same attention. And now, he is bailing out on us. With apologies, but nothing changes. I catch him in small lies about making plans with her and their son. It hurts so badly. I feel like we are no longer a family- just outsiders watching him and his family enjoy their time together. Apologies aside, small lies and having chosen to be the party to supervise these visits is odd. I just want to know if anyone else has dealt with this? How to handle this? We have talked- I initiate, but still no changes.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2014): I don't really Understand: does his son lives with you guys? And mother comes over occasionally? Usually with supervised visits its not supposed to be more than couple weekends a month. Not EVERY single weekends, and it's not supposed to be all day. Thisnislike a job for him, to take time from his family and goout with his ex. If he does it every other weekend, and spends half a day with his ex, that would be fine, but if it's more than that, then he needs to take his daughter along. And make it clear to his ex that this is how it's going to be. I have an impression that he has a custody of his son because of his ex not being a proper mother. Otherwise he wouldn't have supervised visits with her
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 November 2014):
 That's a bit strange that he is supervising visits with his ex-wife and son. Isn't the point of his time with his mom to be exclusive time, and if it has to be supervised, it should be with someone appointed by the courts??
That, and he's invited his EX-WIFE to your place?? Why does the ex-wife NEED supervised visitation in the first place? Is this court-ordered? And why isn't at least some of his son's time also with his half-sister?
Something smells fishy here. I'd be hunting around for court documents to see who's ordered this arrangement, and if it is NOT court-ordered, you have to respect his time with his son, but you do NOT have to put up with his spending a weekend with the ex-wife, and she certainly shouldn't be hanging out at your house if you're not comfortable with it.
If he wants to play the cozy little family with the ex and the son, then he should never have left her and gotten someone else, because sooner or later, that kid should know the drill. Also, your daughters' 0-5 years old are the most formative. He needs to spend time with her now, and she needs to have a bond with her half-brother.
Like I said - I smell a rat. Demand the court papers designating that HE is the non-custodial supervisor of their visits. SOmething tells me that SHE set it up because she's not over him and it's off the record. Given that he's already lying to you - I'd run him through the coals and possibly drop him.
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