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I feel like she gets a lot of the intellectual and social parts you want in a relationship from me. But gets kissed by the other guy. Confusing!

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 November 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 November 2007)
A male United States age 30-35, *reenTea writes:

Let me just jump right into it...

She is dating another bloke. Their relationship isn't all that great and isn't terrible. I just don't expect it to last much longer.

I really like this girl and have for sometime. And yes, I made a move this summer and got put in the friends closet. I've decided to fight my way out of that. Being friends just isn't good enough for me.

So my Q is how do I act around her? We flirt a lot. and hug a lot. But i'm not sure if thats what I should be doing...

I feel like she gets a lot of the intellectual and social parts you want in a relationship from me. But gets kissed by the other guy. So im feeling a little bit used.

Should I stop hanging with her? Would that force her to see what I am giving her right now? Should I just kiss her? Should I make a move and tell her how I feel even though she is really into her bf right now and I would just get turned down?

Background info:

Im 18, she is 16. her bf is 16.

I'm not worried about pissing off the bf, he is a little guy but I don't want to steal his GF.

She often reminds me that were just friends, but she is so flirty that I get a mixed message.

Sorry if this is convoluted, im pretty confused right now.

View related questions: flirt

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A female reader, Minelisse Puerto Rico +, writes (30 November 2007):

Minelisse agony auntGirls can have guys as friend.. even if this is very hard to understand. If she has thrown you into the friends closet (really and not just because she is in another relationship) I don't think you can get yourself out.

If her relationship is ending, as you say, then stay back for a while. Let her figure things out without you figuring them out for her. Let her live what she has to. When and if that other relationship fails then move in.

If you feel used, it is because you are letting it happen. We are all responsible for the choices we make of for letting someone else make our choices for us. Good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007):

I was kinda in the same position a few months ago where my gf said to me that she liked someone else. She flirted with him etc. but we were still together and I was getting pretty pissed. If I was the bf of this girl you're talking about, I'd be pretty pissed If I found out (but maybe that's just me) so I'd say wait a bit and try and get to know her bf a bit better. Sorry if I didn't help.

-Spamspamspam

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