A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now, and everything is great except for one thing. He looks at porn a lot, almost every day. I knew for months before I confronted him, because he never cleared his history so I saw the large amounts he viewed. When I confronted him, he was so sorry and said it had become a routine, and he wouldn't do it anymore. He said he felt awful about it, and he was sorry he had hurt me that way.But the thing is, I know he still looks at it. He clears his history out everyday now, but occasionally he forgets and I see what he does. Our sex life is not amazing. He is always tired or is too busy to do anything; there is always an excuse. Having sex is like a routine, it's pretty much the same exact thing every time. He has to be really drunk or I have to beg to get him to try anything new (like being tied up). This makes me feel like he is not attracted to me, and like I can't trust him. I know I he would never cheat on me, but this just makes me feel awful and depressed inside. I'm not a bad looking girl, and I know what I do is good so I don't understand. I am very afraid of confrontation, it takes a lot of me to get the courage to say anything. I was the one snooping. Would it be wrong for me to say something?
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 April 2008):
 If you feel that your relationship is hurting ,
then you need to communicate with him and solve this problem together.
Tell him your feelings and what your needs and wants are as he
may not know as he cannot read your mind.
Get him off that pc and do more proactive things around the house or go out together to visit friends .
Check if he is sleeping enough or under stress due to his job.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2008): Okay, usually, I'd say that you have to accept it, even if we don't like it porn is everywhere and you can't control him, that there are things we dislike but just have to accpet...
BUT.....!!!!!
This IS AFFECTING YOUR RELATIONSHIP. It's not just about you being uncomfortable with porn, he's not meeting your needs. He's probably addicted: the definiton of addiction is that whatever you're addicted to interferes with your normal life. For him it's not a problem, because he gets what he wants, but for you it is... you have to point that out. Tell him it's not about him doing it behind your back, it's the fact that it's preventing you from having a normal, healthy and LOVING relationship.
He should get treatment... don't be upset when you tell him, instead be loving and caring, but really point out that your needs are not being met, and that it goes beyond you being hurt by a pair of fake tits. It's a matter of lack of affection.
...............................
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