A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Lots of my peers (I'm in my twenties) wear lots of "Instagram makeup," the on trend style (which is very revealing - think low cut tops, hotpants etc), have social media accounts where they post pictures of themselves in bikinis, show off how big their bum is etc. They also follow loads of influencers online and keep talking about how Madison Beer, Kylie Jenner etc. are the perfect woman. And post vids of them doing stuff like the "spit challenge" and dances on Tiktok which just looks sexual to me.I'm happy with the way I naturally look (older people always say I look like Hedy Lamarr?), but I just can't bring myself to do that. I don't like wearing much makeup and get attention without it, and also prefer having my own personal boho style as opposed to the revealing Instagram style. Even when I was a teenager the style was not as sexual as it is now. My friends have actually done the "Instagram makeup" on me before and I looked good, but I hated it. I'm mixed race so I COULD get the Instagram look if I wanted to, but I dont like it.However I feel insecure/plain sometimes walking around in little make up and off trend clothing as opposed to all the girls in a full face of makeup, taking Instagram pictures to show off their and showing off their goods. Am I missing out? I don't like the thought of random guys perving on me on Insta and possibly saving my pictures.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2021): Hi
Well done! you are not one of the lost ones, the ones who sadly are getting swept up into a world of unreality and fake emotions, fake everything. Fake hair, fake tans, fake eyelashes, fake lips, fake bottoms, fake boobs, fake personalities, fake lifestyles, fake love. Who would chose this life style if they were not falling asleep. Stay awake bohemians and rainbow warriors and help others stay awake to the future that they are helping create with their stupid influencing . REALITY!
A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (19 April 2021):
 I think its great that you are not like most of the people succumbing to the pressure of social media, and generally following the crowd making your self up to be something your not.
You are strong enough to be your own person, happy in your own skin, loving you as you are, this say's a lot about the person you are OP.
Your right, there probably are people out there that save these pictures, so who knows where they end up. Social media can be a cruel and dangerous place if used incorrectly.
I think you have got the right attitude towards it, so well done.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2021): You're well past the age of buckling under peer-pressure. It's understandable when you're only 15 or 16; and all the popular-girls at school want to indoctrinate you into their cliques. Maybe back when you were a college-freshman, just out of high school; and as a rite of passage, you wanted to run with the cool crowd. You're supposed to outgrow that nonsense!
Sweetheart, you're over 25!
These women are caught-up and enslaved by social media trends; and live their lives like lemmings. They put everything on display! They are followers, not leaders. "Because everybody's doing it!"
Why are you putting yourself through any amount of anxiety or agony over people who are hopelessly conceited and begging for attention???
How many young social media influencers do you have to hear about on the news who have committed suicide? All because they are under enormous pressure to present a false-persona? Pathetically trying to live-up to perfection, to appear happy and beautiful all the time! It's sad what happens when the camera shuts-off. They are addicted to "likes," and their lives hang on the numbers of followers and worshipers they have.
When they lose followers or get criticized, they lose their minds!
Allowing themselves to be objectified and scrutinized by thousands of strangers who have never even met them; but they make very personal attacks on their bodies and appearance. You think they can handle it? NO!!! Meanwhile, creeps and pervs hide in the dark playing with themselves; while viewing those cheap sexually-suggestive images.
Let me remind you these images end-up anywhere, and viewed by anyone!!! That includes background checks by perspective-employers, vetting for jobs requiring security clearances; and hiring government agencies who are very meticulous about maintaining their credibility, a highly-professional image, and a sterling reputation. Your past catches-up with you!
You'll meet some nice-guy who wants to introduce you to his parents and family; unexpectedly to be recognized by a couple of his male-relatives from some racy pics they've seen on the internet! May I remind you, these are images and videos that find their way back to your own parents, family-members, boyfriends, and fiancé; that aren't exactly flattering about how you've conducted yourself in the past, or how much of your body you've exposed online!
Sometimes you've got to be your own person; and live your life according to your own rules and values. Don't be afraid to let the crazy-world know what you stand for. You don't have to hide behind heavy makeup and take selfies with your lady-parts on display all day long, to prove anything to anybody!
Influencers are not as happy as they pretend. They don't all reach big fame. Some just make idiots of themselves with a few followers who coax them on; and gossip or ridicule them afterwards.
Simply put. JUST BE YOU!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (18 April 2021):
 Oops, cat hit the "add your answer"...
As the world is today, Fake is in. Morals, values and common sense, and common decency is out. And it's a crying shame.
Kylie Jenner doesn't even LOOK like her Instagram posts in reality. She had plastic surgeries to TRY and look like she wants to look or how she thinks other people think she should look. She sells dreams and makeup she doesn't even USE for herself. It can't get any FAKER than that! And then SHE is put up on some pedestal as some female ideal? I don't get it?!
You write: "I don't like the thought of random guys perving on me on Insta and possibly saving my pictures."
ANYTHING and EVERYTHING you put "out there" on the Internet is there forever. Even if you decide to delete it. Because SOMEONE saw it and saved it.
Think of the most GRODY, NASTY, PERVY dude - HE can get access to YOUR pictures with little to no effort, even if you use all the "privacy features". You have an ex with an ax to grind? Who knows where he will post stuff?
You give up your RIGHT to your privacy to a point once you post pictures and info about yourself.
Think about all the people who are being "canceled" over stuff they did YEARS ago. Because someone sat and dug through their "virtual trashcan" to find stuff to fling at them.
Your FUTURE employers might see whatever pictures and decide that "meeh she isn't what we want, it's not good for the company to have someone who posts stuff like this (whatever it is - political or revealing pictures or whatever). Your family, friends, future inlaws, partners etc. They can ALL see just how self-indulgent you are.
I'm not saying that you can't do (or shouldn't do) social media but don't be a frigging SHEEP that just do what others do because... insert lame excuse.
BE you. LEARN to LOVE you as YOU are. With or without makeup. With or without having to post semi-nudes for attention and validation.
FIND your own style. Don't be such a throwaway person. Don't be a dime a dozen.
People talk about climate change and pollution. And that we all need to do something, yet...
"The volume of clothing Americans throw away each year has doubled in the last 20 years, from 7 million to 14 million tons."
"Textiles can take up to 200+ years to decompose in landfills "
"Moreover, many people may be shocked to learn that 84 percent of clothing ends up in landfills or incinerators."
Citation:
https://www.roadrunnerwm.com/blog/textile-waste-environmental-crisis#:~:text=The%20volume%20of%20clothing%20Americans,million%20to%2014%20million%20tons
And that is just in the US and fashion, then think of ALL the trash from make-up, hair products, etc!
All this buying outfit for "hot insta pic" is just SO over the top ridiculous.
Most women don't want to be viewed as a piece of meat. So WHY do they post almost NUDE images of themselves constantly? As you call it "showing off their goods". Are they just the SUM of their body part? Tits and ass?
Is that who YOU want to be?
You are at an age where you can DECIDE who you want to be and work towards that goal. Figure that out!
Don't BE a sheep. BE you. It's REFRESHING to meet young women who like who they are, who don't feel like they HAVE to live up to some stupid vapid unobtainable trope of a woman.
They exist. They DO get noticed. But their lives don't revolve around getting attention 24/7.
Is being a little plain a BAD thing? I think gives you more freedom (in a sense) because you CAN doll up and be "less" plain-looking but you can also be your GENUINE self. There isn't the whole "she doesn't look like that on Instagram!".
Be comfortable in your own skin, OP And remember SOCIAL media is NOT real - not reality.
At the end of the day, WOULD posting vapid pictures of yourself in full insta-makeup face and being semi-nude MAKE your life better?? Would YOU feel better about yourself?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (18 April 2021):
I'm of the opinion that IF you want to do make-up, then DO it.
If you are fine without it, then don't.
What IS it that you think you will "miss out on" exactly? Getting attention and hate from strangers online?
Social media is like a cancerous boil on society. I have heard for SO many years how fragile teens, young women and women are due to "societal norms" and "standard of beauty" but then you have social media that is SO darn fake - edited - photoshopped - curated and young women are now competing with "mirages"
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