A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need so much advice. I'm only 20 years old and I'm in this relationship with a wonderful man. He is caring and sweet and I love him very very much. But, I'm unhappy because i feel like I'm growing up too fast. The last couple of years of high school i didn't do anything because i had a horrible boyfriend, but that's besides the point. I feel like i need to find myself and be single. So here's the thing i have been thinking about this for a while and I decided that I don't want to be with him anymore and i found an apartment. The women who owns the apartment called me to tell me i was approved. Now i feel like i have to make a decision so fast. I live with my boyfriend and i don't know how to go about breaking up with him. I wont be able to move into this apartment for another 2 weeks, so i don't know when to break it off or where or how or anything. Please help . Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): Thanks for the advice everyone. I want to make something clear that i don't think i did I'm my post, but i am breaking up with this guy, i have already made my decision. I don't want to hurt him. My question is how do i go about breaking up with him? We live together it's going to be hard. I'm trying not to drop a bomb. I'm going to pay the rent for this month even though I'm not going to be living there. I just bought a lawn mower for him and I'm going to let him keep it. And I'm going to pay the gas bill because i feel guilty about leaving him with bills. And i do love him, but like Zyla80 said I'm not in love with him and i know that. He is great and deserves a person who can truly appreciate him and give him the love he deserves. And also he can tell that there is something wrong he's not blind. He always tells me i look unhappy. most of the time i don't respond or say in a light unconvincing voice "I'm fine". And i also don't and am not going to date anyone else for a long time i need to focus on myself and school and that's all i want. I'm done with men for now. Anyways, i need a good way to break it off with him. If anyone can give me a suggestion that would be greatly appreciated.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (28 May 2010):
 Make sure you let him off really gently and tell him that it's not his fault you need to be on your own. It's going to hurt him, and from what it sounds like, he's a good guy. Make sure this is truly what you want.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): That feeling of "you are growing up to fast" is an indication that you don't love him or you are not IN love with him. Think about it...when you truly love someone with all your heart, and you cherish and appreciate them, would you let them slip through your fingers? NO, NO and NO. So, I think you are confused or you are just using this reason you gave as a scape goat to keep from revealing how you REALLY feel about your boyfriend. I am certain that if you break it off with him, you are not going to stop dating other guys. You want to be single because, you have no emotional connection to him, you want to be single in hopes of finding that guy that you truly connect with and you know what? You are not wrong for having those feelings, but you are wrong with you know you have those feelings and you lead someone on into believing otherwise. All of those reasons about I need to find myself, I need to be single are all excuses.
If your current boyfriend really loves you, he may be hurt if you leave him, but it's better that you leave him rather than hurt him even more down the line. Maybe that "right woman" could be waiting for him just around the corner, but as long as he is with you and focus on you and thinking that there can be something with you, he will not move on. Be a decent woman and tell the guy the TRUTH and don't lead him on any longer. Also, dont' tell the guy that you wish to remain friends with him, dont' give him any indications that there can be something between the two of you once you are done dating, fooling around or trying to "find yourself" because, that is selfish to keep someone waiting around for you. If you break up with him just move on, dont' email him, don't answer his, don't try hanging out with him...just cut all the contact out that way it will be much easier for him to get over you if need be.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (28 May 2010):
 You have put off telling him because you know it won't be nice or easy. But this is not out of consideration for him, because you will be dropping the bomb anyways. I wonder if the fellow has noticed anything at all; most probably he thinks everything is just the way it's always been and isn't expecting it.
I can see you needed a place to stay after you told him you'd be going away. But I still think it's not OK to drop bombs. If you don't want to be with the man anymore, tell him now, and find a place to stay while the apartment is made available.
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