| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I am 21 and my boyfriend is 24.He said to me that he wants me to sleep with an old man 'because it is one of his fantasies'.He said he won't get jealous and that it's good for our relationship. I find his idea slightly creepy to say the least.Our relationship was good up until now - and I feel disgusted by his suggestion.What can be done about his idea and what would you do if you were in my situation?Carla (21) from Stockport, Greater Manchester, England
View related questions:
jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (27 November 2005):
 You don't give any indication of how long you've been with Mr Creepy Drawers, or whether he's tried to talk you into any of his other fantasies, so it's hard to offer much constructive advice.
But the bottom line with being the featured performer in a partner's sexual fantasies is always: If you don't want to, then don't.
Remember that nobody who really cares for you would insist on your doing something that makes you uncomfortable. His telling you that he wants you to do this is about HIS sexual fantasy, not yours. The idea of sleeping with a much-older man makes you squirm. So, if it creeps you out, tell the boyfriend No.
Don't forget either that once you get recruited into fulfilling his weirdo fantasies once, it's going to be that much easier for him to introduce new fantasies for you to fulfil. "Oh, but you did it last time. Don't you still love me?" is going to be his catchcry. And - eek - you don't know what else is in his head! Don't be manipulated; it's just going to make you feel degraded.
I have a feeling that this boyfriend is bad news, and generally has the idea that women are just around to provide sex on command, not love or companionship or understanding or friendship. Maybe I'm wrong about him, but when people show their true colours like this then try to pressue you into meeting their expectations, it usually isn't a fluke.
I suggest that you consider dating other guys and back away from this man.
Hope this helps.
A
female
reader, Auntie Jane +, writes (27 November 2005):
hi Carla,
firstly, no one has the right to make you sleep with anyone else. If you dont want to sleep with anyone then dont. explain to your boyfreind that your just not comfortable with what he's asking you to do. Talk to him about it. And remeber dont do anything your not comfortable with.
Hope all goes well
Auntie Jane
...............................
|
