A
male
age
41-50,
*ipra
writes:I feel aroused when i am emotionally close to both men as well as women. However, with men i am more comfortable compared to women, whom i hate, not all but a few whom i find to be unclean, for my own childhood experiences. Does it make me bisexual? I do not really feel like sleeping with men, even though i do feel my libido erected when i get emotionally close to them. I think there is a conflict between my natural feelings and what reality tries to dump on to me about sexual orientation towards others. Please advice.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mcbirdie  +, writes (19 May 2007):
 It might. Does it matter how you label yourself? Some people say that you aren't truly bisexual or gay until you have a relationship or sex with someone of the opposite sex. I say that that is malarky, since people presume heterosexuality well before anyone has relationships/sex.
Most importantly is that you are comfortable with whomever or whatever you feel close to and attracted to. If that is men, then so be it.
I am, however, a bit worried about your hatred for women. Even if you don't want to sleep with women--which, fair enough, we can't help who we are attracted to--it isn't completely healthy to think half the world's population is unclean and hate-worthy. If you know that your childhood is making you feel this way, it may be worth talking to someone about it.
Best of luck.
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