A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:I am doing engineering at University of Michigan. I have a good life and I'm on a good course, but the reality is a lot grimmer.Ever since I started doing this course, I have found the work difficult, even though I got the required grades. I'm worried that even though I will try so hard I will still in the end fail.I also have a problem socially. I sometimes act sarcastic. Largely because if my friends saw the real me, they would reject me.I know now that I have a fear of rejection and failure. How do I treat this WITHOUT counselling.
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male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (18 October 2007):
An engineer is an expert. That doesn't mean he knows everything and never makes a mistake. An expert simply knows more than a regular guy and takes extra steps to compensate for his errors. Rejection and failure are normal. Persistence is the difference. For example, if you want a girl friend, ask out 100 girls and you'll probably get a date. If not, change your pitch and ask another 100.
Persistence is the difference.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (18 October 2007):
 First you have to look at the obvious. You're studying something that is (1) difficult (2) time consuming (3) stressful (4) complex.
It is normal to feel as if you may fail when taking on something new. I'm graduating in law soon. I feel nervous every day for when I become employed and get issues a case to study or produce documents. It's because all though I have the education, I don't have the work experience to predetermine my outcome. Just putting one wrong word, all though may sound OK, if it's not the correct word to use, could change the meaning of the whole document.
Did you know the fear of being rejected is higher within people than the fear of death. This fear comes quite a bit from either not really knowing ourself or doubting ourself which comes from not knowing ourself as well as we should.
Take some time to figure out who you are, as a friend what do you have to really offer your friends. What are you looking for in a friendship, then go from there. Remember too, most people like people not for what they can give, but for who they are.
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