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I fancy my boyfriends mate!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 July 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 20 July 2006)
A female , *ose 123 writes:

hi,

iv'e been with my boyfriend for 4 years we have a 11 mounth old baby,the problem is i fancy his best mate and i think he fancys me.when i see him he always make eye contact and he sometimes stares right into my eyes,if i talk to him he seems to get shy but he's well able to chat girls up.does it sound like he fancys me.he did try it on with me a few times in the first year me and my boyfriend were together, i think we've always been attracted to each other.i just dont know what to think or do.please help

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2006):

Hi,

I also agree that this is a very touchy subject. And yes, because there is a child involved.

I think you need to ask yourself some really tough questions...

Why have I been in this relationship for 4 years?

If you are still having sex with him...why do I continue to maintain a physical relationship with him?

When I am not around my friend’s best mate....who do I think about?

It is incredibly normal to be attracted to other people when with someone else...trust me I know. But it's whether you act upon those feelings.

Just remember you obviously did not accept his advances in the first year of your relationship with your guy...why has this changed?

What ever decision you make, ask yourself the tough questions, and be honest with yourself....don't beat around the bush.

Keep in mind that it's not always healthy to jump into a new relationship right away after breaking up with someone. I personally don't think that people should leave the ones their with for other people. If you don't want to be with the guy you have right now...then deal with that. Then take some time to work the other guy out.

Remember, the grass is always greener on the other side...that's sometimes only what we feel in the moment.

Good Luck Chicky!

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A male reader, tonsta +, writes (20 July 2006):

you should forget your BF best mate if you love your boyfriend and get on and be happy. you have a child together be responsible!

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A female reader, rhc88 +, writes (20 July 2006):

rhc88 agony auntYou really need to be careful about this, especially since there is a baby involved.

There is lots of options for you but for every action there is going to be a reaction.

e.g. 1) if you going with your BF best mate, you'll know what will happen, you'll end up falling out with your baby's father, big style, do you really want your child brought up like this? And also would he help you raise your child?

e.g. 2) if you stay with your boyfriend, he'll be there to support you, and obviously love you. But you need to get his mate out the way or you'll always feel like this. Make up an excuse not to see him - i.e. makes you feel uncomfortable.

Whatever you do, just follow whatever you heart says. But remember you can't just think about yourself anymore, there is your child as well.

Best of luck for whatever you choose.

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