A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I'm an 18 year old female and my problem is this: I've started a new job (at a supermarket) and there's this really fit guy that I like. Lets call him John. My sister (Claire) works here too and she knows him. I asked her if John has a girlfriend and she said she doesn't know and that I should ask him. But I'm really really shy and can't pluck up the courage. I hardly get a chance to speak to him anyway because we're always busy working.But then there is this really pretty girl who works here too and as I walked passed her while she was talking to her friends, I overheard her say something like "John is my man." In an aggressive intimidating tone of voice. She was probably talking about some other girl trying it on with him. (It wasn't directed at me though because no one knows about me liking John).So now I'm wondering if she's John's girlfriend afterall. But maybe I heard wrong? There is a small chance that I did but she's extremely pretty and now I feel like such a fool for thinking I had a chance. I would feel so defeated if she really is John's girlfriend. When I compare myself to her I feel inferior. She's like...the prettiest girl in the whole store and then there's little old me! :-( How do I find out if John is still available and how do I cope with my feelings of inferiority and defeat?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2007): Oh yea, and who said you were defeated? You haven't even tried with him. And even if she is his girl, that has nothing to do with you being defeated, it just means he has a girlfriend & you may have to either wait until they're over, or look for a guy who is available.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2007): I am the anon female. I didn't think they'd post that 1st response. I was just joking. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad. However, that is how you're acting like since she's pretty, you would never compare. And you also said he is really fit, and who really cares? If you want a guy to like the nice girl over the prettier girl, you have to like the nice guy over the really fit guy. Do you know what I mean? Anyways looks to some ppl. aren't that important. There was a question on here where a female asks "what do guys find attractive in a female?" And most men didn't list 1 physical attribute. Most of them said confidence was sexy in a female. So looks aren't that important. If you & him get along well, and you have a good personality that is more important to most men. But you said you're very shy, so I don't know if it is going to go anywhere unless you can step it up & approach him. Does he ever talk to you first? That would be a good indicator that he's into you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow thanks anonymous female what great advise! You sure know how to uplift someones spirits! I think I can truly cope with my feelings of inferiority and defeat now! I feel so much better!
^^^^*Did anyone catch the sarcasm?*
I mean...I'm not saying people should only tell me what I want to hear BUT I specifically said I needed help coping with my negative feelings. I didn't ask for more negativity added on!
Thanks gandalf. Has anyone else got GOOD advise to give me?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2007): Let it go, he's going to like the pretty girl over a girl not as pretty any day. Even if she's not his g.f., she obviously likes him so it looks like it's pointless you even trying.
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A
male
reader, gandalf +, writes (5 August 2007):
It may be that Johns relationship with this girl if hes got one peters out in time if youve got the patience. And also being pretty doesnt make u a nice person or compatible as people.
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