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I don't want to keep on trying, I've had enough!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 May 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 7 May 2009)
A male Germany age 30-35, *ellium writes:

Well, that's it. I am starting to think that there are some people that aren't supposed to have luck with stupid love. I am really done in. Every day I wake up hoping to have a nice day, and at night I understand that it isnt possible for me. After a 14 dumps I can't take more, I have got enough bad moments in my memory and have no interest to get even more depressed than what I am. I even think I've turned into a bipolar person, because my mood swings.

I always try to be happy, to look at all with hope, but at a point it gets impossible. Not only love, my whole life is a freaking ruin. Nothing good happens to me, and I have had it. Sometimes I really ask myself why am I still living, and sometimes think about taking my life away, as sad as it sounds. I even think I havent got more tears.. I want a single way to stop loving, I dont want to keep getting hurt, because I sincerely think I am a good person, I never harmed nobody, always helped others how I could, even if it fucked me in some way.

Someone please tell me how to stop getting harmed with the worst existing feeling, the one I cant control, please..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2009):

If I could describe how I often feel about my own life, it would be very similar to how you have described yours. I hope this makes you see that you are not alone with these feelings, everyone feels awful at times.

It sounds like you want something from other people, perhaps love, and feel you aren't getting it. Maybe you should try and focus on looking after yourself first, instead of working hard to try and get others to like you. When you feel better about yourself, other people tend to pick up on it and are drawn to it.

You say that you wake up each morning, hopeful that you will have a nice day. Well, stop hoping. TELL yourself that you WILL have a good day, no matter what happens. Throughout the day, if things happen that make you feel bad, say to yourself that you won't let this ruin the day, and that you WILL still have a good day anyway. I think it also depends on what you think of as a good day. Some people think that something major needs to happen, but often it is the small things and feelings that make a good day.

If you feel too bad though, could you speak to someone, like your family, or doctor? It is best to try not to struggle alone with these kinds of feelings, and maybe you need a little more input from other people.

Take care, and this site is here if you need to let anything else out. x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2009):

It could be that you are thinking and acting negatively and this is driving people away from you. Get some information on positive thinking and find out whether you are bipolar. If you are, they give you cognitive therapy, which is... guess what... basically positive thinking. I've tried it and it works. But you have to be ready to accept yourself and to look for the positive in every moment and situation.

14 people dumping you means you were not wasting any more time with someone wrong for you. And usually it is the women who dump the men, so you are not alone.

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