A
female
age
41-50,
*arasarnie
writes:Im a 29 yr old mature student. Me nd my boyfriend met nearly 3yrs ago. He was in the country on a visitor visa, he overstayed the visa and didn't work, he relied on his best friend who was here legally. His friend decided to leave the country pretty soon after nd for financial reasons he left also. We have since continued the relationship and have had some tough times. I've been over to see him five times in the past year alone. As a student travelling to Africa is not cheap. To make matters worse we are from very different cultures nd his family have become very involved nd fail to understand why we cannot just get married and have children. I am definelty not ready from both a financial and emotional point of view. I love him nd do want to spend the rest of my life with him but really want us to live together for an extended period of time before we can make such decisions. I was in a long distance relationship already several yrs ago nd gave up my everything to move to be with him only to have my heart broken, I am not willing to do this again. I've been accepted for a Uni in the U.K and desperately want to get this degree a.s.a.p cause I know from a biological point of view I need to have my career in place very soon. He has tried to get a study visa for the U.K also and has been refused, third world countries never fair very well with visa apps etc.. I am so confused and at the end of my teather please help :-((
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (25 August 2008):
Well he needs to get a decent qualification at home so he can come and work in the UK. We always need more nurses or doctors or other useful people. Tell him to find out what they will accept and hit the books.
He just has to keep trying. If he got a visa to live in France then he would at least be a lot closer to visit, and he could work there and pay taxes and then would have a better case to come over the UK as he is showing he is a responsible person.
Good Luck!! xx
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