A
male
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:hey,My girlfriend broke up with me some time ago now (about 4 months) and it was extremely hard, we fell out even thought she said she wanted us to stay friends. We have recently started talking more and we are becoming friends again but i always try to reassure myself that i'm over her (i know for a fact she wouldn't go out with me again), what frustrates me is that i don't really fancy any other girls...i just don't seem to be able to. is it because i still like my ex? I'm so confused, i just want to be able to start dating other girls. thanks.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): thanks a lot for your help,
i'm in a position where it is hard to avoid her, we talk over the internet a bit, but we hardly see eachother, only for a second in school or something. but we were supposed to meet up tomorrow. she has made other plans though so can't make it, and thats dissapointed me a lot because it seems as if she always has something better to do than see me, even when we were going out she was always so busy with her friends that it didn't leave time for us. i confronted her about it but she denies it and it makes everything worse. i feel like giving up on her completely because i keep getting hur even though she doesn't mean to, but i just can't bring myself to abandon our friendship.
A
female
reader, blacksoul  +, writes (19 February 2008):
 the sense that you are hurting, perhaps the break up was very recent. The bad news is that there is no "easy" or "quick fix". You will need to go through the process of allowing yourself to hurt, to grieve, to feel the feelings of separation. On a brighter note, it will not only get easier and healed with time, but additionally, you will come out on the other side STRONGER and BETTER and SMARTER and so much more! This is because every experience you go through helps shape the person you are today! You need EVERY SINGLE EXPERIENCE of your life in order to continue on the exciting journey of your life. You never know how you will be able to use this opportunity down the road... maybe to understand and be able to empathize with another that will be going through the same thing? Or maybe you can learn a lesson or two about things you DON'T want in a relationship? I know it seems hard to believe right now but the pain WILL ease and you will be stronger and more confident in the near future. You will also have room to find a suitable match for yourself having been cleared of this previous relationship that does not work for you in your life. Take it easy and smile! One step at a time... You will be okay!! :)
-you need to spend your time wisely. Stay busy and focused without reliving the past. As long as you are surrounding yourself with objectives, the thought of long lost love will soon disappear.
but Being Friends this won't happen right away. Especially if the relationship ended suddenly or if one of you was feeling uncertain and wanted a friendship. Don't attempt to win the person back because it will just agonize you both and will possibly ruin the friendship..
-be patient, keep busy, find yourself again. things will work out one way or another. time is your best friend.....
-Bring out pictures of your other ex girlfriend. You got over that one you can get over this one. Go to comedy clubs and dose yourself up with tons of comedy and funny media. Take a trip for a week or two. And last, and most importantly, no contact with the ex. Period (repeat in your head 10,000 times).
--Remember that somewhere out there is a person that you will spend your whole life with. Someone who cares and loves you. So if you have problems with forgetting your ex, just think about all those fights and problems you had. Finally you will realize that you were hurting more than you loved that person. Even though you think that you won't find anybody else that will love you, remember that you can give up and wait until you find real love - the one person that you will share all your happiness and sadness.
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A
female
reader, natnatxxx +, writes (19 February 2008):
 Just because you dont fancy anyone yet, does that mean you have to turn back to your ex. It might be sensible to cut down on talking, not breaking off comminucation with her completely, but keeping a distance so you dont end up growing to close. Just keep telling yourself your over it and keep your mind off relationships, she's obviously hurt you, and you need some time to recover. Keep yourself busy, you dont need to have a girlfriend, and nor do you need your ex. When you feel lonely, and cant find a right girl dont look back at her, remeber it is done and can only be looked at has a memory. Youll soon find yourself back in the love game again xx
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A
female
reader, bemused  +, writes (18 February 2008):
 Hi there.
In my opinion the fact you are not over your ex IS a reason why you are unsure about dating others. It is kind of a knee jerk reaction and a human one. It sounds too like you are wanting the right thing which is to move on from this...there lies the conflict.
I applaud your maturity in remaining friends and still talking to her but it would be my suggestion based on what you say here that you cool the communication with her for the time being. People always say that a broken heart is more easily mended when you are younger but I disagree...those first few breakups can be brutal. Are you in a situaton where you still have to see her. If you are that makes it harder. I would avoid seeing her, avoid talking to her and get out there and get on with your life. I do not think you can want romance to happen...I think it will when you are not looking for it. Pull up your collar and weather this one. She will start to fade from your mind and you will have good days and bad days but you will move on. Good luck and keep us posted.
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