A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:For a couple of years I have had very strong feelings towards a friend of mine. However I never tried to push this feeling, and so we remained "just friends". I would occasionally drop in a cheesy line, or a small flirt, but nothing serious. A few months ago we were talking online one evening. I was particularly bored and started to flirt rather a lot. She humoured me and started to flirt back, and this led to me talking dirty, and saying things I'd like to do with her. But the problem was I actually did want to do those things, whereas she just thought I was saying them for fun. This continued for a week or two until one afternoon, mid way through a flirty conversation, she invites me round to her house. I eagerly accepted. For a while I didn't make a move despite her obvious hints such as, "I'm bored, can you think of anything to do?". Thirty minutes before she has to go out I finally pluck up the courage to kiss her, which leads to making out. It felt like a dream come true. She smiled and laughed, probebly in disbelief that I'd lived up to my word. When I asked her how she felt she just said "weird". However this didn't stop her having a good time, that much was obvious.I thought this might change things for the better but to my shock as far as she was concerned we were still the same. She said the kiss meant nothing and I am simply the "fill in guy", till she can hook up with someone else. In fact at the time (and still to this day) she had her eye on a guy already! So now I'm stuck. I enjoyed the make out greatly and can think of nothing I want more than to do it again, but I want it to mean something. I don't want to be her "fuck buddy" until she can find someone else. But I'm scared that if I say anything then I will never get the opportunity to be with her properly. What should I do?
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male
reader, jay12toes +, writes (18 February 2009):
 theres nothing you can really do but talk to her about it, if you wait then she will think its ok. but you have to be very carful with what you say and how you say. you need to let her know that you were hopeing for a seriouse relationship, and that you dont like the idea of being the fill in guy, but make sure you stay calm and collected when you tell. also make sure she knows that whatever she decides to do, you will still be her friend. i hope i helped.
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