A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Im in need of advice about plans with a friend.I have a friend, we met 6 months ago, and get along well but I don't know her that well yet, (not as much as my other friends.)I haven't seen her in 5 wks and next Friday we planned to go to see a theatre show( we both REALLY wanted to see) and have dinner first (we are only friends.)She has a young adult son who lives with her and he has been very sick in hospital this week, I know this from her social media site and hope he is OK.I don't know her son. Her friends have wished her well on social media as have I, she sent me a quick text to say he was sick when it happened, as I work in healthcare, and I wished him well. I hope he is Ok, this must be very hard for her as he is her son and of course she must be with him, (I don't have kids) and from what she writes he is slowly getting better.I havent texted her (and she hasnt texted me, I didn't expect her to this week, of course,) as I don't want to intrude in this stressful time and we also haven't known each other a long time.My problem is that if he is sick next week obviously she cant go to the theatre which I understand, I'll be disappointed as we both really wanted to go but I do understand! I have no other friends ( and no family nearby)that want to go and will go alone if needed. I don't expect to hear from her in next few days so.. should I text her, say on wednesday? to see how he is, and ask if she is still going ? Id make sure I didn't sound rude, and say that Im sorry she cant come but I understand, I don't want to be rude.How do I bring this up without sounding cold or uncaring,? Im not like that! but I also know her better friends may want be around her, which is understandable, and I don't want to intrude with a text about a theatre show. AS I said im happy to go alone, g and her ticket will be vacant then.please dont think me uncaring, Im not at all! but I don't know her well yet and I don't want to intrude on her time with her son. Im not a rude person.genuine advice please. thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2014): Just ask her if her son is well enough yet for her to attend the show. So long as you express concern about the son (and concern for her) you won't come across as cold and uncaring. If she says she can't go with you, ask her what she'd like to happen to her ticket - you could ask her if SHE has a friend who would like to see the show instead.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2014): Just text her, and ask how her son is, say that your thinking of her at this difficult time, and that you would be really happy if she can make it to the theatre but can understand if she is unable.Then, it's up to her, and put it out of your mind as its become out of proportion. Worst case scenario you go alone, or offer her ticket to someone last minute, don't stress about something that is supposed to be enjoyable.
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