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I don't want my mum to be alone.........

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 April 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 May 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

You may all think Im mad or that my Mum is but here goes, I'll explain a little before I tell you the problem.

My Mum's been through tough times for example violent partners and Alcohol and Drug abuse. Maybe she thought that that was her only escape but this eventually led to my brother being adopted as my grandparents couldnt care for us both.

Well she suffers from depression and Sometimes self harms. I know you may think Sometimes! You say it as if its nothing, I know its serious and I try to help as much as possible because I dont want to upset her more, leading her to do it again.

The other day was my little brother's birthday and she must have got really upset as she blames herself for him having to leave. I honestly think he has a better life and things have worked out for the best, for now until he's older. So she got upset and began to self harm, she thought her current boyfriend (of 3 years) was laughing at her (He wasnt, He was scared because his brother killed himself a while back and it brought back memories) and she cut him too, not severly yet I know that isn't the point.

She's going to the Doctors this week to try and get counselling.

The problem is I like her partner and respect him and I don't want him to leave, he said he's sure they will work things out however, he's leaving. I have my exams soon and this is the last thing I need to be worrying about. I just dont know what to do to help my Mum and I dont want her to be alone.

View related questions: my ex, violent

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A female reader, XxdepthxX United Kingdom +, writes (1 May 2007):

XxdepthxX agony aunthey, my mum's a manic depressant and self harms to, i live with her alone although i do have a brother ho lives with my dad, i dont see either of them for reasons id rather not explain,and i worry about my mum alot to but in the end theres only so much we can do. try to help talk to people who understand what shes going through, or people who have the time to help her(you can only do so much especially as you have exams coming up).try to live your own life not get wrapped up in hers, belive me not a good road to go down, and if your religous pray that she gets better. i hope this helps.... x

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (1 May 2007):

cd206 agony auntYour mum has had a lot of problems and naturally you worry about her but our parents have us, we don't have them. It might sound like a selfish attitude from someone who doesn't understand how hard your situation is and that's true, if I tried to empathise with you for a thousand years I probably wouldn't even come close. The truth is though that you're still a child (and I mean that in the eyes of the law, not from a maturity standpoint) and deep down, despite her many problems and a deep desire to keep you close I'm betting that what your mum wants more than anything right now is for you to pass your exams and create a happy and successful life for yourself. There are plenty of adults with a lot less on their plate around to help. You mentioned the doctor and the boyfriend and the grandparents. You seem to feel like you're coping alone when in fact you have lots of people around to help you. Explain your concerns with any of these adults and see if they can come up with a plan to help your mum while you're doing your exams. I hope this helps if only a little.


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