A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:hi, my mum was married twice and divroced twice.. ever since it was perfect! now she is dating a new guy.. and i hate him! not that he is bad.. i just dont like him.. or maybe im not used to it.. and he is trying to bribe me into liking him too, but if i tell my mum i dislike him.. she will brake up and be sad.. what do i do?! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, stina  +, writes (19 June 2007):
 Hi Anonymous,
It's understandable that you're a bit upset - it's pretty normal for people to feel that way when one of their parents starts dating someone new.
You said that you hate him - why? You said that he's not bad, so maybe you are feeling like your mother is replacing you or something, or that he will be stealing your mom away from you? Try not to look at it this way, okay? Easier said than done, I know - but you know deep inside that your mother would never do anything to make you sad, angry or feel left out, right? It seems like she holds you at the center of her life. Why? Because according to what you said, it seems like she'd dump this guy in a heartbeat if you were unhappy.
If you have a problem, by all means I think your mom would want to hear about it. Maybe tell her how you feel and that it's not this man personally that you don't like. Let her know that you want to keep dating him (that's what it seems like you want, anyway) but that you need to know he is never going to come between the both of you. Perhaps you need some reassurance that you two will have just as close of a relationship with or without someone else in the picture. What do you think?
What do you mean he "bribes" you? Maybe he's just trying to be nice? Maybe he don't know how to talk with you? Are you friendly around him? Sometimes when people want to get close to someone, they buy that person presents. It's not necessarily a bad thing, in fact it looks like he's trying to be a good guy in my opinion.
Have you all gotten to talk to one another when he visits your mother? Maybe if you got to know him a little better, then you wouldn't have so many negative feelings about him. He might even enjoy some of the same things that you do! ^_^ You could even ask your mom to tell you about her new boyfriend. It might make her happy to hear that you're interested in him, too.
Listen, letting someone new into your life on such a personal level like this is never easy, but there are ways to make it less uncomfortable and less upsetting. Talk with your mom. Figure out what you can both do so there are no bad feelings with this huge change in your lives, okay?
Take care.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (19 June 2007):
 Don't tell her you dislike him. Try your best to find something about him that you do like and focus on that. In time you may decide that you DO like him. Try to give your MOM a break here. Good luck honey.
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