A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have parents who are very abusive and drug addicts and I have never understood why this has happened. Despite me continuously trying to help them they will not do the right thing. I am at my wits end. Yesterday my mother yelled at me and grabbed me by my throat in front of my 5 year old nephew. This to me was my last straw. How do I tell both of my parents that I no longer want them in my life? How do I keep them from coming to my home and trying to contact me? Do you guts think I am doing the right thing? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2015): Go back when they are cleaned up, live for you now and move away so you can build a good life and future. Do you always want to be their parent? do you always want to take the brunt?
They have troubles that only they can sort out, they don't take care of you so you must do this for yourself ( Guilt free)this may even be the short sharp shock they need to clean up.
GO far away and let life begin for you, how long can you walk in their darkness?
Ps. I do hope they succeed as well, good luck to you all.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (18 September 2015):
 I agree with Sage in that you should just make it about what YOU do, and that means instead of making a declaration that you don't want them to be in your life anymore, that you remove yourself from THEIR life.
I think you should make it about specifically what happened this past time. Normally, I suggest having conversations in person, but in this case, since she already assaulted you, if you have your mom's email and she checks it, then you should write her a letter. If she doesn't have access to email or doesn't read it, do it old school and write her an ACTUAL letter.
Calling her would be out because there is too much of a risk for interruption, and you'll not get what you need to across.
Tell her in the letter that her drug use, verbal and emotional abuse, and especially her assault on you make it impossible for you to be around her. Tell her she needs to get help for her addiction and her anger issues, and that for your own safety and hers, you must stay away from her.
This way, she'll know what's on your mind without you standing in front of her to be a punching bag, and it won't be via phone for her to blow up, start screaming, and not listen.
Since you only have one set of parents, I wouldn't suggest making this a "forever" gesture. People can change if they want to, and maybe it's the thought that their actions driving you away that could get them to seek help on their own.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (18 September 2015):
 Is there any compelling reason that you have to see/interact with them? (Do you live with them?)
Unlike the preceding "reply"... I suggest that you simply - and quietly - extricate yourself from their lives. Stay away from them.... don't invite them to visit you.... and get on with your life.
If they detect your "distancing" yourself, and ask you.... you can politely tell them that you are tired of the way that you and they interact.... and it's become too stressful for YOU to continue contact with them.
By doing so more subtly, you leave open (for them) a door through which THEY can walk (re-enter your life) if they ever DO decide to change their behaviour around you...
Good luck...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2015): Im not an expert, but if you want them to stay away, tell them you are ashamed of them, and you dont want to be ever seen with them. You could get a court order, then thay have to stay away. If someone chocked me, I deffently would do something very soon. You could end up dead.
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